Recovery (GOT7 fanfic)

Trying to Fit, Doesn't Mean You Will

The unfamiliar music was thumping in my ears as I walked in to Jackson's house with Jinyoung. He was the only reason why I was here, actually. It seemed like a bad idea, and it still does, but I've taken my anti-depressants, so I won't be too dull or boring. Hopefully.

"You look too nice in your school uniform, wear this," Jinyoung instructed, helping me slip my arms into his slightly oversized leather jacket. 

"But it's yours," I protested, but quietly.

"No! I insist! Anything for my girl," He grinned. I couldn't believe he just said that. He must have been either drunk, high, or both at that moment. He must have been.

The thick and heavy air was enough to make anyone feel sick. I was automatically drawn to a corner of the room, but I stayed close to Jinyoung because I was too nervous to go anywhere else. I saw no familiar faces. Not a single one. 

"Hey, I'm going to find the birthday boy," Jinyoung smiled, picking a red solo cup off of the drinks table. I latched onto his shirt for a brief second before letting go quickly. I didn't want to look clingy, needy, or weak. I wasn't that at all. He looked back and smiled at me before disappearing into the mass of people.

I stood awkwardly, searching frantically for somewhere to escape to. Someone grabbed my wrist, and I resisted the desperate urge to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted out. 

"Didn't expect to see you here," She sneered. 

"Soomin," I say quietly.

"So? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I just came along with Jinyoung," I don't look her in the eyes.

"Yeah right! Sure.. Junior brought you with him," She scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Well, at least enjoy yourself since your here," She sighed. "After all, if Junior did really bring you, then you're one of us now," 

My uncomfortable expression lightened at her words. I wanted to hear them again, even though I shouldn't want to. I let Soomin drag me off to the kitchen, where the real partying is going on. People are completely hammered here, some passed out on the sofas and even the floor. She clumsily reaches for two shot glasses and slams them on the counter. I can tell this isn't her first time taking a shot, but she doesn't know that it's mine. 

She continues to pour vodka into the small glasses, letting it spill over the rim. She slides it across the counter to me. I look at her before touching the glass. She laughs at me. "Live while you're young!" She yells, downing her vodka.

I pick up my own glass, and it's cold against my hand. I look at her again, and there's a smug, satisfied grin on her face. Then I drink. At first it stings my throat, but the further down it gets, the better it feels. My head buzzes and becomes a little hazy. It's a different haze than drugs, this is senseless, while drugs are more like a lucid dream. 

I can hear the chants from Soomin and a few others, "Do it, do it,"

And I giggle, raising another shot to my lips. They cheer, and I raise the empty glass above my head triumphantly. Soomin's smirk fades, and the crowd disperses. I turn around, and can make out the figure of Jinyoung.

"What the fuck," I hear him say. 

Soomin plays dumb. "I don't know what you mean," She frowns, tilting her head to one side in confusion. He gives her a hard punch, sending her to the ground. She cries, and I feel like my mind has been punched too. I crouch beside her, and help her to a sitting position. Soomin clutched her face with her hand and rocks back and forth. I gently removed her hand and saw the red mark. It was bruising up already. I looked at Jinyoung in rage and disgust. He hit her. 

"What the fuck dude!? You can't hit girls!" Jackson shoves me aside to tend to Soomin, sending me to the floor.

Jinyoung ignores him and hoists me to my feet. "Why did you do that?!" I ask. He sighs, and lifts me over his shoulder. He carries me out of Jackson's house, and the fresh air stings all over.

"You let me down right now!" I'm yelling. I'm shocked, but I keep going. "Where are you taking me!? I said put me down!" 

"Shut up!" He yells back. I stop talking immediately.

"Can't you see that I'm trying to help you!? I'm taking you home because you're drunk," He sighs.

I squirm out of his grasp and kneel down on the pavement. Then I throw up all the vodka. Jinyoung holds my hair away from my face, and rubs my back. 

"Never listen to Soomin," He tells me. I let him lift me back up over his shoulder, and I let him take me home. All I want to do is go to bed, or find the ability to rewind time. The latter would be preferable. 

We reach the front door of my, well, Yugyeom's apartment, and before I have the chance to tell Jinyoung I have keys, he rings the doorbell. 

"Let me down quickly, before--"  I start, but the door flings open, Yugyeom standing in the doorway. He's angry.

"What the fuck," He repeats the phrase I heard Jinyoung say earlier. "Give her over, now," Yugyeom roughly takes me off Jinyoung's back, and pulls me into the house. Jinyoung holds his hands up in surrender. 

"What did you do to her?" Yugyeom grabs Jinyoung by the shoulders.

"Nothing. Look, you should be thanking me. Soomin got her drinking, and I intervened," Jinyoung shrugged. Yugyeom's hands fell limply to his sides as he let out a long sigh. He shut the door.

"Please, don't be mad... It wasn't his fault," I mumble incoherently.

"But it was! Why don't you see that?!" Yugyeom asked. 

I said nothing. 

I went to my room and hugged my knees, staring at the ceiling. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, even with sleeping pills which I had run out of yesterday. I didn't have enough money to buy more, and I didn't want anyone to waste their money on me. I was fed up.

I heard the door open and shut again, and I wondered if Yugyeom left, or if Bambam came home. When I heard more shouting from downstairs, I knew it was Bambam. I crept out of my room, and peered down over the banister to see what they were arguing about. 

I didn't need to hear another word to figure it out. He had dyed his hair blue. And I could smell smoke on him. On closer inspection, I saw an eyebrow piercing. I gasped and died a little inside. I used to have an eyebrow piercing. I used to have blue hair. I used to smoke.

Bambam puffed the smoke from his cigarette around the room. I watched silently. He blew some right into Yugyeom's face with a smirk. Yugyeom smacked his hand, so Bambam dropped the cigarette onto the floor, before stomping it out, leaving ashes on the carpet.

"What did you do?" He asked seriously.

"Nothing," Bambam shrugged.

"You fucking liar. Why did you do this to yourself?" Yugyeom continued. He was even angrier than when he was talking to me.

Bambam shrugged again.

"Don't tell me. You've been at Jackson's 'party' too," Yugyeom shook his head in disbelief.

"Uhh..yeah," Bambam nods.

I can't take it anymore. He's ruining his life. I run down the stairs and smack Bambam repeatedly on his arms. "What the hell is wrong with you! What the fuck do you think you're doing!?!" I screech. Bambam shoves me away a bit too hard, and I land on the floor with a light thud. 

I keep my eyes on the ground. I can feel Yugyeom crouch down. 

"Sis, I-I'm sorry," Bambam's eyes are wide, and he apologises immediately when he sees my tears. I'm a drunk, tired mess, and it shows.

Yugyeom is by my side in a heartbeat, glaring at Bambam, but I shake him off me. I go back upstairs, and bury my face into my pillow. I try to ignore the shouts that continue downstairs, but it's really difficult.