Mistakes (Vampire Academy)

Chapter One

"I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has." These were the last words I thought I would ever hear from this man again. I remember this day as though it were yesterday. It was as though a bucket of cold water hit me in the face—with the bucket. Just thinking about this day brings tears to my eyes. But I will not cry for this man, never again. I recall too many times when I wallowed in my bedroom, door locked, shades drawn. I didn't speak to anyone for weeks—well, other than Adrian. He was the only person I would allow in my room from time to time. I even ignored Lissa—the best friend I thought I'd have for life. Although she tried multiple times to get me to talk to her, she just couldn't understand my side of the story. 

To focus more on Adrian that specific, dreadful night, he found me on the other side of the ward—away from the security of the Court's protection. I hate to admit it, but I wanted a strigoi to find me that night. I couldn't see myself living a life without Dimitri, and for that I am ashamed. I know I'm stronger than that, I am stronger than that. Adrian let me cry on his shoulder as he carried me home. We talked all night, and I saw a side of Adrian that I had never witnessed before. A side so sweet and sincere I could have sworn somebody switched bodies with him. 

****

"Adrian—I don't understand what I did." I tucked my head deeper into his shirt, staining it with my mascara. "I'm just not good enough for him." 

"Rose," he said, putting a finger underneath my chin, gently lifting my head so he could look into my eyes. "You'll always be good enough." 

It was rare of Adrian to say my actual name. It sounded nice. "Say my name again."

****

And so he did, many times that night. Adrian was a great distraction. He kept my mind off of Dimitri, off of my future, off of my best friend. He allowed me to feel something—love, I think. Not the kind of love I felt for Dimitri, but there was a connection. Maybe it was the fact that I knew he loved me—even though deep down inside I knew I could never give the same amount of love that he gave me, I was still selfish enough to take his love and use it towards my own healing. 

****

I opened my eyes to a room that wasn't mine. I stretched my arms out, whilst sitting up in this strange bed. The smell of eggs and bacon quickly engulfed my scents. Breakfast? I got out of bed and found my way into the kitchen by following the delicious smell. 

Adrian was standing with a spatula in his hand, not to mention, only in his pyjama pants. I couldn't seem to take my eyes away from those breathtakingly, sexy abs. 

"You . . . Umm," I tried to speak, but I couldn't get over how hot he was right now. I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through his hair. It looked as though he had just gotten out of bed. 

"Good morning, little dhampir." He smirked. This is the moment I realize yesterday wasn't a dream. I flush, becoming embarrassed over how weak I had acted last night. 

"Hi," I say, a small smile playing on my lips. "About last night . . . forget about anything I said . . . I'm not that person. I'm not weak."

He puts the spatula down, removing the eggs and bacon off of the stove. 

"You could never be weak." He turns around, his eyes deep in concentration. "Little dhampir, you're the strongest, most bravest creature I have ever met in my entire life. Maybe at times stupid," he chuckles, shaking his head. I grinned, recalling the time I had set out to hunt Dimitri as a strigoi. "But you could never be weak." 

****

Why I decided to leave, I'm not so sure. Adrian really was the best thing that could have happened to me in a very long time. But I screwed that up, just like I screw everything else up in my life.