Mistakes (Vampire Academy)

Chapter Three

"Do you miss her?" Christian asks, gently kissing my forehead. I look in the mirror, admiring how I look with a crown on top of my head. 

"I don't want to talk about Rose," I say, pushing him away. A knock sounds on the door.

"Queen Vasilisa," says a man with a very, very familiar Russian accent. 

I gasp, coming out of Lissa's head. How did I slip? I thought my wall was perfect. But that voice . . . I've missed it—much more than I would like to admit to myself. I sit up in bed, disappointed with yet another sleep. Every night for the past month, I've hoped that Adrian would visit my dreams, but I know its too much to ask for. I shouldn't expect him to do that, but deep down inside, for some reason I believed that he would. Adrian was so sweet to me. Why did I never realize just how perfect he was? I threw him away, just like I threw everyone else away. 

I analyze my life, coming to the conclusion that I've completely screwed it up. I miss high school, no matter how crazy it was at times, they were still the best years of my life. I miss training with Dimitri. I miss our hidden looks, and our forbidden passion. I want it all back. I feel the tears threatening to fall, but I promised myself I would never cry for him again, and so I fought against them, with everything I had. 

I'm not weak, I say to myself, repeating what Adrian had told me. 

I know that the Belikova's have noticed my discomfort talking about him. They've come to realize that the topic based on him is meant to be avoided, and I really appreciate their respect. I know it must be tough. Finding out an entire year later that their family member has been revived from a strigoi, and turned back into a dhampir. I just can't get over the fact that Dimitri never called—not once.  You would think he would have enough compassion to let his family know he's come back from the dead. But, I guess not.

"Rose, you coming?" I hear Viktoria shot from downstairs. I quickly throw on some clothes, running down the stairs while combing through my hair. 

"Yeah, ready!" Viktoria lets out a loud laugh, shaking her head at me. 

We were going shopping. Yeah, that's right. Shopping. Exactly what I want to do during my free time. But, since Viktoria insists on me going to some party with her tomorrow night, and I do need to find myself a dress—also some new clothes, since my wardrobe kind of sucks at the moment. 

Once we arrive, a sudden wave of excitement fills me. 

"Let's do this," I say to Viktoria, clasping onto her hand and practically dragging her inside. 

A few hours later, I find myself with a few bags, full of clothes. I've even found the perfect dress for tonight, and maybe another perfect dress for some other night. 

"That was actually fun," I tell Viktoria, giving her a cheeky smile. 

"I knew it would be." She smiles back, placing her bags in the trunk of her car. We drove home, nothing but the sound of dim music playing in the background. It was nice, feeling comfortable in silence around Viktoria. There are some people where it's complete awkward silence. The kind of silence where you feel like you're squirming on the inside, trying to think of any topic in order to get rid of the agitating hush, hush.  

"So, ahh . . .," Viktoria starts, breaking the awful silence that was slowly eating me up. "I know it's not a topic you like to talk about, but what happened between you and Dimitri?" 

I froze, begging for that awkward silence to return. I'd rather spend an entire day walking around naked and clueless, begging for money or food or whatever else, than to talk about Dimitri. But I realize, I will have to see him soon, unless I can figure out how to leave the Belikova's again without completely tearing their hearts out for the second time.