Mistakes (Vampire Academy)

Chapter Two

One Year Ago

I run. Faster and faster, sweat falling down my face. I wipe it away from my eyes, blinking to prevent the droplets from falling into my eyes. I feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the burst of energy fulfilling my crave.

My mood came crashing down when I was interrupted. I could no longer enjoy the bliss of pumping my legs, going further and further into oblivion. I slowed down enough to allow Lissa to catch up to me.

"Rose," she gasped. "Slow down."

I come to a halt, mentally giving her the finger for ruining my moment of peace.

"Rose," she says again. Making her way in front of me. It was clear that she was pissed off. Her hands placed on her hips, her lips pierced, her eyes in slits. "Why have you been ignoring my calls?"

"Last time I checked, you weren't my mother." The wall crashed down, surrounding me with emotions that weren't mine. I could feel the pain that I was putting her through, and right away I regretted my words. But she made me so angry. I've become so good at building a stronger wall against the bond, but sometimes there's a slight crack, and that crack pulls me right in. Last time it happened, Lissa was with Dimitri. They were only talking, but it's clear that they have some kind of friendship going on.  She just doesn't understand. Besides, I don't need her pity. I don't want her to look at me as a weak broken-hearted little girl who can't get over a few shared kisses.

It was more than a few "shared kisses", Rose. I knew my sub-conscious was right, but I need to learn to make it true. If I don't, I'm not sure if I'll ever get past this.

I looked Lissa in the eyes, making my decision final. In order to protect her, she cannot be in my life. I'll bring her down, just like I have with everyone else in my life.

"I have to go," I say, turning around before she sees the tears spill from my eyes.

"Please." Her voice cracks. I bit my lip, giving myself the courage to do what I had to do.

"What do you want?" I snap, hand on hip. Shock was evident in her expression, she even took a step back.

"I--I . . . Rose, I don't know what I did to make you hate me so much . . ." the tears welled in her eyes. "You're so stuck up on Dimitri, that you've completely lost who you are. Where's my best friend, Rose?"

"She's gone, Lissa. And she's not coming back." I had to say it. To protect her. Lissa's face transformed, she was almost a stranger in my eyes.

"Fine. If that's how you're going to be," she starts, "then I'll just let you know how I've always felt. I used to put you on a pedestal, Rose. Not anymore. I see who you really are. You're nothing but a coward, and a b*tch. Treating your friends the way you do . . . god, treating your mentor the way you did? I mean, who does that?"

She jabs me with her finger, almost spitting every word at me. "You're nothing but a goddamn whore."

I couldn't breath. I stepped back, holding in the tears until I escaped from this creature of whom I used to refer to as my best friend. I ran until I found myself repeatedly banging on Adrian's apartment door. He opened up his door, immediately embracing me with his warmth, he took me into his apartment, petting my hair until I was calm enough to speak.

"What did he do?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Lissa," I say, and I tell him everything. The one person whom I thought would always understand, for the first time in our life, did not. She abandoned me. Left me during one of the most fragile moments of my life. I somehow found the strength to breath, and that's all I did, for the rest of the night.