Everything I Didn't Say • on hold

7

"Hailey, are you on drugs? What are you talking about? And why are you here? It's 2 in the morning." He answered groggily, not bothering to take interest in what I had just asked him. Typical.

"I don't care, Jacob. Answer my damn question. I know you said it was Justin but I don't believe you one bit. You are the only one capable of orchestrating such thing. So, spill or I swear to god, I'll call the cops and have you arrested for trespassing." Didn't even think twice on what I had just said. I just needed answers. That's all I want. But will it do me justice?

"You're going to call the cops on me for something that happened weeks ago? I could call the cops on you for public disturbance right now." Oh my god, why have I said that? He was right. But still he did not take interest in my questions. It's like he was intentionally dodging it. It was wearing my patience thin.

"Get inside if you want the answers you've been asking." So, I did and let myself feel comfortable as if it was my own home because Jacob has been my best friend for so long, I even have a bedroom here. I know the place like I know my own house.

"So? What are you waiting for? Speak." I demanded. He sighed and looked around. I was pretty sure his parents aren't home because they are always on business trips, leaving Jacob the whole house to his self. He told me it sucked because he was alone and an only child that's why I sometimes spend my time here with him.

He ran up the stairs and left me all alone in the living room. A train of thoughts entered my mind -- would I handle the truth? would I still accept Jacob? what would happen then?

But apparently it was interrupted by my grumbling stomach. I forgot I haven't eaten dinner and I'm so starved. I opened the fridge and saw mac and cheese. I heated it on the oven and ate it.

Jacob still hasn't come down. What the? Are we playing hide and go seek? What grade are we in? first? I heavily sighed and went after him in his bedroom.

As I opened the door, he was sitting on his bed, looking frazzled. It was the first time I ever saw Jacob like this. I didn't know what he was thinking or planning on doing. He just sat silently, not acknowledging my existence.

"Look, okay. Here's the truth. I didn't know how to tell you. When you first told me you received a CD from someone, I should've told right away but it would ruin the essence of it. I know I should've told you from the beginning. It was really hard to keep this from you. I was not certain of what I am feeling or what your reaction will me. I'm so sorry." I felt so numb, I couldn't bring myself to move an inch. This was a revelation, a revelation I have been waiting for a long time.

"Please tell me this you're not kidding this time." He moved a side and I saw everything I have ever wanted. It was on his desktop, recordings that were on the CD.

I looked at him and ran away.  This was too much to take in.

****

I drove my car to school like a zombie. I had a total of about a half an hour of sleep due to what transpired between me and Jacob. It wasn't easy to take it all in.

I checked my rear view mirror and stared at my reflection for a while. I look like a mess. No concealer or hairspray could fix this. I haven't even showered because I didn't want to go to school, but mom forced me to. Seeing Jacob is so much dreading.

But I have to suck it all in and put up a strong front or else people will start to question.

I got out of my car and walked inside. As usual, people said hi's and although I wasn't in the mood, I still offered them smiles. I wasn't that mean. Upon arriving on my locker, Daniel was waiting for me. I completely forgot of him. Since when did my life turn into such a soap opera?