Endless Pain

Chapter One - First Day

I miss my brother, whenever I smell something that smells like him, I miss him. I am homesick because he is my home, I miss him because when I’m sad he’ll make me smile, I miss him because the only time I can ever see him is when I close my eyes. I miss him, and he’ll never know; I just miss him…

I get mad at myself for not saying the things I could’ve said a million times.  I take the days back for spending time at home doing nothing when I could have spent the days with him. When losing someone, it stays with you. Reminding you how easy it is to get hurt.

Standing in front of his future right now, it all came rushing back. The sadness, the sickness, the hurt, and the loss, Yale had been his dream… But when he died, it all became my dream, standing here as the cab pulled away; I looked up admiring the building from a distance. My stomach flipped nervously, as I strained my neck to read the bold text written on the glass windows.

 “Are you lost? Do you need some help?”

Turning around, I was met by a boy with green eyes and a crooked smile; he wore a white fitted T-shirt with black Ray-Bans hanging from the neckline, worn jeans devoid of wrinkles, and a pair of black vans. His face, very much like his clothing was annoyingly handsome. His dark hair in need of a haircut curled behind his ears and fell onto his forehead.

“No, I am not lost, what makes you think that?” I raised my eyebrows in question. He chuckled,

“You’re looking around like a lost puppy, and haven’t moved from this same exact spot for like,” he paused to check his watch, “ten minutes.”

“So you’ve been watching me for ten minutes?” 

“Who wouldn’t watch a beautiful girl stand in the same spot for ten minutes? It’s purely for enjoyment.” He said with a grin. I rolled my eyes and he laughed,

“Thank-you, but I need to go find my room.”

"Need help? I have a feeling you'll be lost by the time you get to the elevators." I shot a glare in his direction and walked towards the doors, "Hey, wait." 

"What do you want?" I turned around as I watched him fiddle with his ray bans.

"I want to know your name." 

"It's Jules, anything else?" I sighed as he stood there smirking.

"Come to the bon-fire tonight, it's this thing they do before classes tomorrow, little get together to  get to know some people, maybe me." He watched me closely for any sign of me saying yes or no.

"Maybe." I turned around so he wouldn't say another word to force be to go to this bon-fire. Heading towards the elevator doors I arrived at the elevator, I stared at my reflection in the metal doors, I looked… sad. The elevator doors opened and I walked through them, pressing the button for the second floor. I took a deep breath and pulled my denim shorts, and smoothing out the polka dot shirt I had retrieved from the dirty washing before I left home.  

Making it to my room safely, and quietly I opened the door to a wide smile.

 “It’s so nice to meet you! You must be Jules James.” The girl exclaimed. The other girl walked towards me almost giddy to see me.

“I’m Kayla Wilson, and this is Jane Stanford.”  She waved her hand in Jane’s direction. She greeted me with a wide smile.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Jules.”

I walked to my bare bed and unloaded my heavy bags from my aching arms.

“So, theres this bonfire tonight, are you going?.” My survey of the room ended when I heard Kayla’s voice.

"I don't know, I was thinking about it..." My sentence drifted off as I looked at her shirt, "Is that a signed Holister shirt?" She smiled,

"Yeah! My dad got me backstage tickets for my birthday! I met Josh Nathan! He was so hot!" Her eyes drifted close as if she was relocating the memory of his features.