The One That Got Away (AnseRa One-shots)

Their Last

"Tama na. Pakiusap, Anselmo, tumahan ka na."

She wants him to stop crying even if she herself can't stem the flow of her tears. She can't bear to see him like this: on his knees, hugging her waist, asking, no begging her not to leave him. Anselmo, her strong and strapping Anselmo was barely recognizable. He looked so fragile, so desperate, so broken, and yet there was determination in his eyes. He will prostrate himself at her feet if that's what it takes to make her stay.

"Nidora, hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang mawala ka sa akin. Huwag mong pakasalan si Miguel. Alam ko hindi ko kayang ibigay sa iyo ang karangyaan na iniaalay niya pero alam ko din na sa akin mas magiging maligaya ka. Hayaan mo kong patuyan sa iyo yun."

He hugs her even tighter. He wouldn't stand up so she stoops down and takes his face between her hands.

"Alam ko lahat yan, Anselmo. Kung ako lang ang masusunod, ikaw ang pipiliin ko. Pero maraming nakasalalay sa desisyon ko. Hindi ako pwedeng maging makasarili. Mahal kita, Anselmo. Mahal na mahal. Pero mahal ko din ang pamilya ko."

Violent sobs wrack his body because he knows that it's hopeless. She will never pick him over her duty to her family. There are no more words. There are never any words when your heart feels like it's been ripped into a million little pieces, with no hope of ever being put back together again.

He stands up on shaky knees. He wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his camisa de chino. He takes her face between his callused hands and strokes her cheeks with his thumbs. If this is the last time he'll see her, he wants to memorize her face. Even tearstained and laced with melancholy, it was still the most beautiful face he's ever had the good fortune to behold. He stares at her for what feels like forever. She lets him because she, too, is looking her fill.

He moves closer to her.
She moves closer to him.

This is it. This is when they have to say goodbye but neither of them can bear to say the words that will put an end to their brief but beautiful story.

So with no witnesses but the moon and the stars, under the mango tree where they shared their first kiss, they also shared their last.

They poured everything they wanted to say but couldn't into that kiss.

Thank you.
I love you.
Please stay.
I can't. I want to but I can't.
I'm sorry.
I forgive you.
I will miss you.
Please don't ever forget me.
I won't.

For several minutes, they were nothing but lips, caresses, shared breaths, and intermingled sobs until she pulled away and touched her forehead to his.

"Lagi mong tatandaan, Anselmo, ikaw pa rin ang may hawak ng puso ko. Ikaw lang. Paalam, mahal ko."

Before she could lose her resolve and let him convince her to stay, she fled.