Coming Home

Dust to Dust

You've held your head up
You've fought the fight
You bear the scars
You've done your time
Listen to me
You've been lonely too long
---

The break up with Ria was inevitable after his moment of epiphany.

Sure, there was a lot of screaming and tears and name calling but he knows that it's better to hurt her now rather than when it's too late, he's not going down that road, not in any way.

"Did you ever really love me?"

Ria asked him through her tears and he just stood there holding her in silence.

He doesn't think he could answer.

Well, not because he didn't (because to be honest, in some way he did) but rather because he knows that she was more invested in him than he ever was about her and he just didn't want anymore to lie to her.

It was just that he knows now that love is supposed to be this overwhelming, all consuming, life altering thing.

It's supposed to make him want to leave everything and move his life to another country just to pursue the girl of his dreams.

It's supposed to make him want to shelter her from all of life's pain like her fathers sickness or her mother abandoning her.

It's supposed to make him want to forgive and forget and to take her back even if years had passed and he's scared shitless and despite the fact that she's ripped his heart to shreds that he doesn't even know if he still has enough.

Even if it hurts.

Even if he feels he has no more left to give.

Because he knows what it's like to live a life without her and he knows that it was stupid to walk away to protect himself when being without her hurts just as much.

Ria will never ever be that.

There was only Leah.

And he knows he's doing the right thing just realizing that.

---

"Apat na taon, Clark! It's about damned time."

Tita Jack said when he called her.

He was expecting her to be discouraging and to give him a piece of her mind but much to his surprise, she seems to be fully supportive of his plan as if she was just waiting all these years for this moment to come.

There was a moment of pause from her though.

He knows his aunt well enough to know when she wants to say something.

He bites his lips nervously through the phone because he knows that it was too good to be true that his aunt doesn't have an advise for him on anything. (Moreso, especially, his life.)

"C'mon, Tita. Spill."

He heard her clear her throat before speaking.

"Basta wag mo ng uulitin to! Last na 'to, Clark! I don't think I can stand to see you looking so miserable for years before you realize that you and Leah are meant to be."

He felt tears pricking his eyes but he still managed to let out a little smile from his end of the line.

"C'mon Tita. Didn't I tell you?"

He said softly.

"I can't live without her. I just sort of forgot and it just took me sometime to remember that."

And he doesn't know what made her cry but he heard her sniffling on the other end and then she lets out a sigh.

"You make me proud, Clarky."