I shut the car door, taking Athalia by the hand. I lead her to a specific tree and gave her a boost.
Once she was up there a giant smile formed upon her lips making them yet again irresistible.
"The view is tantalizing," she said as I climbed into the tree as well. Settling in, I made a funny face, trying for the life of me to figure out the reason for the oh-so-bright smile on her face. She must have noticed my confusion, for she told me, "You wanted me to remember this place, and I do. This is the first place you ever took me, just me and you. It was our first real date even though we both said it was just as friends."
I just smiled, feeling complete knowing she did remember this wonderful place. "This was the first chapter of our story, Athalia. Everything that we went through to come back here again was part of the plot. This is not the last chapter, or the last page. This is the climax. The beginning of something new."
She nodded, tears forming kaleidoscopes in her eyes from the reflection of the moon and stars.
For a long time we said nothing, cuddling, caressing, kissing. No words were needed. Words are insufficient anyway. They can't communicate the soul. The body can be a window to that, and I was exploring every inch of her soul.
"We need a song," she finally broke the trance, "a song that you didn't write. Not that your songs aren't amazing - they are - but we need a song that by chance we find and it becomes ours. You wrote the songs for me, they're too perfect."
She pulled out her iPhone and clicked play. "If I Could Fly," by One Direction began to play. We sat in silence absorbing the words.
•If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you • I think I might give up everything, just ask me to • Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down • Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only, I show you my heart •For when you're lonely and forget who you are •I'm missing half of me when we're apart •Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
I've got scars, even though they can't always be seen • And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing • Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only, I show you my heart •For when you're lonely and forget who you are •I'm missing half of me when we're apart •Now you know me, for your eyes only •For your eyes only
I can feel your heart inside of mine
(I feel it, I feel it)
I've been going out of my mind
(I feel it, I feel it)
Know that I'm just wasting time
And I Hope that you don't run from me
For your eyes only, I show you my heart • For when you're lonely • And forget who you are • I'm missing half of me •When we're apart • Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only, I show you my heart • For when you're lonely and forget who you are • I'm missing half of me when we're apart • Now you know me, for your eyes only
For your eyes only
For your eyes only•
it was perfect.
It was us.
Our song.
And when I miss her I could hear those words I my ear and know she's waiting for me. As the song ended, she silenced her phone and sighed.
I couldn't tell if she was relieved or relaxed or worried or wondering or what the sigh was for, so I asked her, "You okay?"
"No." Another sigh.
"Athalia, talk to me."
"This is so perfect. You're so perfect. And this moment would be so perfect if there wasn't bark scratching the skin off the back of my legs but it's magical right now."
"Let's get down."
So i jumped down and she climbed down into my arms. There i held her protected and perfectly under my chin. I didn't ever want to let her go. "Why did you say you weren't okay?"
"Knowing I'm going to be losing you for so long for your tour... I'll never be okay. Being away from you is too painful."
"This isn't what I want."
"No, Shawn it's your place. You need to go and show the world how amazing you are. There's only one flawless Shawn Mendes and that's you. Everyone loves you and I don't mind sharing. Let them see you. But don't change. Promise you'll come back to me as the same Shawn I am and will always be in love with?"
"I promise. Will you promise me something?"
"Of course."
"Wear this ring," I took it out of the box, "and if it's still on your finger when I come back I'll know you're still mine. Forever."
"Like a promise ring?"
"Yes."
"Of course I promise. I-" she stopped to glance down at the cold metal that I had just slid into the ring finger of her left hand. Gasping, she tried to go on, "won't ever take it off. Gosh it's-"
"It's nothing."
"No. It's simple. It's perfect. I love it."
"I love you."
"I love you, Shawn."
"Please don't let her forget how much I love you."
"I don't want to. And I won't; you haven't let me. Just don't forget me, okay?"
"Never. You'll be on my mind every moment of everyday. Every concert, every song, every lyric, every note, is for you. All for you. I'll be out there waiting to return to you and I will visit as much as I can for as long as I can every time. You won't be able to get me out of your hair. You'll get sick of me."
"I couldn't," I promised, by now in tears.
"I'm never not going to love you."
"I don't know how not to be totally and completely in love with you. And I don't want to know how if it's even possible. I'm all your's."
"That's my girl."
"Always."
"Always?"
She nodded.
"Do you trust me?" I asked
"Entirely," she assured me, but I wasn't convinced after what she had said earlier. "Then you know I meant it when I say I am going to come back to you?"
"Yes, I have to."
"But I am leaving something with you."
"What's that?"
"My heart. You need to keep it safe."
"Then you'll be taking my heart with you. Take it on a great adventure. Smile as much as you can for me okay?"
"I'm in love with your smile."
"I fall in love with you again every time you smile."
"Then you have no idea what your smile does to me."
"What does it do?"
"If I told you that would ruin the magic of it."
I changed my grip on her and we relaxed together. We ended up dozing off. Twilight at 6:00 AMish lured me away and I felt her laying there still in my arms. She was a bit cold in the Dewey morning air. My last night with her and I had literally spent it with her.
