It was hard to get into such a strict schedule for a while but it didn't take too much to adjust. My determination and excitement drove me on. And caffeine... Lots of caffeine. Coffee in the mornings and ice tea for lunch and sometimes pop thrown in there too.
The way Dean worked was interesting. He had me make up the daily special for dinner every night with him before he let me off. Since he assumed I had a life, he didn't want me at the job all day, everyday like he was.
I became pretty consumed by the job. After a month I was settled and Dean and I were friends. He loved the way I worked and cooked. He praised me all the time. Whenever I could, I was staying all day there with him to cook.
I didn't have much of a life outside of Shawn.
Pretty soon Dean called an entire staff meeting and I had been getting to know some of the kitchen help, clerks, and waiters/waitresses.
I had already come to know Kaspar, Tessa, Josephine, Gianna, and Jack, who were clerks. Then there was Jay, Bryant, Maleah, Zoe, Hanna, and Dixie, who served as waiters and waitresses. And then the people I came to know best because they were the kitchen staff: Kameron, Dan, and Alex.
Kameron and Kasper were twins and very close. Pretty soon they had almost adopted me. They worked the same shift as me most of the time. Usually Dan and Alex didn't come until the last hour of mine and Clarice's shift and they took over our places in the kitchen with Dean.
Kasper, Kameron, and I became an inseparable trio. After our shifts, we always hung out. Once the first two weeks of work had passed, we figured out that we lived a few blocks from each other, naturally, we started carpooling. It was great. I'd drive one day and then them. As the duo that they were, they owned a car together and just took turns driving it. Kameron and I spent a lot of time forcing Kasper to chauffeur us around so we could giggle and gossip in the backseat.
Being only a few blocks away, we took turns hanging out at each other's houses and then just walking home. I wondered if it would change come winter, but the three of us were just so happy together all the time.
At first I had a hard time with them sometimes, especially Kameron, because I had to hide my scars.
By the time we had been hanging semi daily I knew it was past time to tell them.
So while we were hanging at my house, after finally succeeding with a recipe for dairy-free ice cream, we camped out on my bed to eat it. I was tugging at my sleeves since the ice cream was making me chilly. After taking a breath to calm my spinning, heavy head, I told them, "Hey guys, I've got something overdue to tell you..."
Kameron's face sealed over with concern and Casper looked a little oblivious and worried. Putting his hand on my shoulder, we all set our ice cream aside and Kameron took my hands in hers. "What's wrong, dear?" she asked.
"Well, it's not so much of a problem anymore, but I have depression."
Kasper slid his arm all the way around me, scooching over towards me, "There's a long story behind this isn't there?"
"Yeah," I sighed, and proceeded to tell them about the death of Anna Lee followed by my mother blaming me for murdering my father, and then being shipped over here, then I told them about the dark days with Sam and then how my mom overdosed. For some reason I hadn't digested that very well until now, and I choked on the words.
Like everyone, they told me they were sorry and didn't know what else to say. And I have my usual response that it's not a normal life and that I'm okay now and then, but most days I struggle to get out of bed.
Then they asked like everyone always does as to what keeps me going with that much loss and how I dealt with it. And I told them Julie, and my siblings, Aaron, and my aunt and uncle, friends, and Shawn. And cooking. Those things kept me going, but, "As to how I dealt with it, I didn't really. I-" it's always hard to verbalize this part so I just rolled up my sleeves, "I tried to destroy myself."
Kameron gasped and her hands flew to her mouth, sorrow in her tear-glazed eyes. Kasper put his other arm around me and hugged me close. "You're shaking," he finally said. "Anxiety," I explained simply.
Kameron joined in on the hug and tried to smile at me. "I really wanna cry," she finally murmured. "Why?" I asked, suddenly feeling the same urge. Kasper draped his arm around both of us and confessed what he and his sister were both strongly feeling but hadn't ever said yet, "Because we love you, Athalia."
"I love you both too."
