Survival of the Broken Heart

Don't forget to listen to Possibility by Lykke Li

                                                                          Prologue

His eyes were beyond mad with the same madness in his body language that swallowed and  scared me . It's funny how the same mad expression, the same twitch in his eyes allured me, possessed me to the point of my own madness. There wasn't escape from him. And.  Both of us knew it. Somebody won't survive today . But the silent whispers in my head asked for different possibilities. 

                The loud banging noise filled my ears as he helled Luke by his neck with small pocket knife right above his ribcage. Right were the source of his life was, right were the most active organ pumped his blood around his body, right were his heart was.  

For him it was only me that he saw. His everything, his love and life. But for me he was more like a small poisonous parasite killing and burying everything that I loved. I felt my heart swallowing twice it's size in my small ribcage that nearly burst from my own heartache. My vision blurry and unfocused led me to the devil himself. I felt alive and dead at the same time, with my heart pumping but my taste buds dead. 

My legs were rushing through the thick, long lanky grass. Pushing myself harder and harder I ran to him with small wish on my tongue a wish that will cost me my own life. Touching the long grass with my finger tips I reassured myself.

                        "Everything is gonna be fine."  my mind whispered. But as I reached him I saw what I didn't want to see.

                        My wish dying under  his own hands. His knife sliced through Luke's radiant skin with blood eating his shirt claiming it. The clouds turned to thick black curtains hoovering over me and he, he just stood there looking at me with regret in his eyes before turning around and running between the thick trees in the forest.

Slamming my body over Luke, I saw death reaching for him grabbing his soul with it's thick claws. A heavy blank expression settled on Luke's perfect face as blood filled the corners of his pale mouth. 

I hummed never stopping as I clang to his body. It was like world stoped and stared. Stared at Lukes heart stoping and my heart breaking. 

                            "Tell me, tell me that you're there." I said between soft humms. 

But he wasn't. Because soon hands grabbed his body covering him in black bag. It was like speeding blur right in front of me and before I knew it Luke was taken away from me just like everything else.

                    "Give her a blanket she's shaking !" officer shouted. But who needs a blanket when the reason for your existence is gone, dead,  just taken away from you like it wasn't there in a first place.

 But even as the time passed and summer came, the suffering was still there and blood on my hands was still real just like the sorrow in my heart. The stares from the people reminded me of simple fact that hurt like hell.

The fact that you're not here, with me. Sun stood in front of me claiming it's day with beautiful streaks of light blessing the skies, but how come the wind could still blow and sun could still shine without it's master here on earth. How come people still smiled and laughed. Without you here. 

"You should come to Brendon's party today, Annabelle you you just need to move on." Justin said.

But I didn't want to, because if I do I won't have the reminder of you anymore and that scared me more than anything. I became what I didn't want to become. A walking ghost.Even the red roses in front of our little house couldn't bring a drop of happiness to my heart. So instead of admiring it's beauty like I usually would. I did what world did to me. I crushed it's own beauty. 

The endless nights of remembering your eyes provoked something that became tattooed to my mind through my lonely days at school and home. The thought of following you. Because anywhere were you were was home to me. 

So instead of walking through the busy gates of school today, I did something that would free my mind and soul forever. I walked through the woods to the edge of lake where you gave up on me and your life. I slowly took my clothing off stripping to my skin. The cold wind took over me as I stepped into the freezing water. Slowly going further to  it's deepest lengths. I knew one thing for sure, that whatever happens to me tonight will bring my spirit it's freedom back. So I did what I needed to do long time ago. I followed your lead.

The water took over my lungs burning every inch of me. But the pain, my sorrow I mean hurt a little less than it did before. And before I knew it,  you were in front of me with your eyes begging me. And I obeyed as I reached for your face before dark took over me. 

There was something wrong here, because I was too aware of everything. The cold wind around me and heavy hands around my shoulders. My blurry eyes focused on the person hoovering above me. It was him. His eyes, his mouth, his hair. He was there. Luke was there.

                               I reached for him with my free hand " Luke." I said. 

But he didn't answer because it wasn't Luke that was hoovering over me, but Simon. He looked just like him with same gentle eyes that had different edge to them, with same blond hair that looked soft and shoulders that were broad just like his but little broader. A tear escaped my eyes as I realized that I wasn't free like I planned to be. Simon sat beside me, looking at me just like his brother did, before he left us. Forever.

And we sat in silence with cold wind catching after us, and memories bonding us together. And for a second as I loked at Simon I felt my soul slipping from it's cage and memories of Luke not hurting but soothing both of us.

Later that summer, with sun catching up with clouds I realized that wind didn't work against it but with it, I felt my soul fly with it. The sunset was beautiful with colours exploring each other. So absorbed in my thoughts I forgot that Simon was even there. His broad masculine shoulders touching mine and his slim fingers playing with my hair. His face was touched by sun as he closed the gap between us capturing me with his kiss. As he leaned back, I saw something different in him. Something that I didn't want to see, but didn't mind seeing. Simon. Not Luke but Simon sat next to me. 

And for first time ever since Luke left us, I felt butterflies in my stomach. Just like the ones that I had with Luke but thousand  times stronger. 

I felt calm inside, as I melted to Simon's touch. There wasn't blood on my hands or sorrow in my heart anymore. There was memory of Luke and happy times together, his love and touches that set my skin on fire but even though I loved Luke and treasured these moments. Someone else was bigger part of me now. 

Someone that helped me to move on. Someone who was behind the survival of the  broken heart. 

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Hello guys this is short story that I wrote. It's soo different to my usuall care free stuff but I felt great writting this. 

Don't forget to listen to  Possibility by Lykke Li while reading this. Seriously amazing. Just sets the mood.

Enjoy!!!