aching hearts and flower laced shoulders [COMPLETED, UNDER RECONSTRUCTION]

3

It's been four months darling, and some mornings I wake up and feel normal. but then I remember. I pour a cup of coffee and warm up breakfast (eat, they tell me. and so I do, to keep them off of my back). I tell myself to drop it, it's over now. You're gone and you aren't coming back.

Man, when my phone lights up with a notification, I always hope it's you. It's never you. I finally threw away the letter you wrote for me. It felt good to release a painful memory from its shoebox hidden at the very top of my closet. It felt good to feel the feeling that maybe, I'm starting to grasp reality, and maybe I can finally stop drowning myself in a sea of old photos and the pathetic hopes that we can "make it work". There is none of that here.

Life frantically gasps for excitement, and sometimes emotions can explode its lungs. I think I'm doing okay for four months. Ask me how I'm feeling and I'll paint you something beautiful, but you never thought to scratch off the top coat and read the base.