Cuffed by Will

XXVIII. Breakdowns

Saturday, 26th May. Day 26.

"Are you sure about that?" Lucy looked at me but I gave her the brush off and downed the third shot of vodka. I know, I was being one of those kinds of people that drink their sorrows away but I couldn't give a fuck at that moment. I signalled the bartender for another shot and he gave me a look. I think it was because it was early in the morning or maybe because I shouldn't be drinking.

"I'm paying you extra and she's taking me home, what have you got to lose?" I snapped at him and he sighed and poured me another shot. I downed it just as fast.

"Shit, Clara, stop." Lucy put her hand over mine and I laughed.

"Come on, Lu. You always said I was uptight."

"This isn't the way." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Yeah well, my plan is to drink for a while and then get some rebound sex. I'll be fine after a few days." I said and then laughed at myself. Days? More like years. Or maybe never. Now there was a possibility. "Thanks for getting my hopes up about all this." I muttered and played with the empty shot glass.

"I swear he-"

"Don't even think about it." I snapped at her, fury lacing my eyes. "He doesn't, okay? You aren't the one whose cuffed to him 23 hours a day. You don't know shit." My voice was raised and I managed to turn a few heads. Lucy recoiled back, clearly hurt and I sighed. "I'm sorry." I said but I wasn't and she knew it.

"I think you have had enough." She stated and I looked at her and then at the bartender.

"You're right." I agreed and slammed a few bills on the bar before storming out.

Taking a few shots of hard liquor in less than 30 minutes on an empty stomach was never the right way to not get drunk. I probably staggered all the way to the cemetery. Ha! Might as well just dig my own grave and lie in it. I sat cross-legged at the end of Marvin's grave.

"I sincerely hope you enjoyed the show from heaven, Marvin. But every good thing must come to an end." Good thing? It was anything but. Well, some of it was good. Hell, the sex was great but the other things could have used some work. I sighed and stared at the gravestone. "You sure know how to wind up even the most nicest of people."

"Clara, let's go." A hand landed on my shoulder and I looked up to see... Lucifer.

"No, no. Now that you are here, come let's share our complaints with your dad." I pulled him by the hand and forced him to sit down. "Let's tell Marvin how life sucks to be cuffed to a person you can't tolerate."

"Clara..."

"No, Ezra. Come on, vent it out." I looked at him and I could see the tiredness on his face. His hair was dishevelled in that sexy way. Ugh, Clara, stop. I looked back to the stone. "All this time, I looked up to you. I took you as the father I never had growing up. And this is what you do?"

"Clara-"

"Shut up, Ezra. Let me finish." I hold up a finger and then point it to the stone. "What did you hope to accomplish? What did you hope to see? That we'd fall in love? Well, I hate to break it to you, Mr. Marvin Copper, but this isn't some fucking romance novel!"

"Clara, enough." Ezra put his hand on my shoulder but I shoved it away.

"I had so much patience, Marvin. I loved you so much. You knew how much I couldn't tolerate your son. Then why damnit? Why the fuck did you do this to me? Why couldn't you just cuff him to Jade instead? Why did you drag me into this? Can you see how much I'm suffering, Marvin? Can you? Can you see how much my heart is aching? Can you feel it up there in the fucking clouds while I'm here with your son? And that's just one! What about the other? Why the hell couldn't you be a better father and protect Ezra from Jeremiah? He wouldn't be so fucked up if you did! He'd be happily married to Jade right now probably dealing with his kids instead of some low-life like me!"