thoughts of a girl in love

fourteen

t/w: abuse
day 38

/////

mom found out i had been staying home from school. the school had asked where i was. she screamed at me, and my dad slapped me, only to apologize later.

i didn't forgive him.

at least it was saturday.

he came to my house this afternoon. when i answered the door, he immediately hugged me. i didn't hug back, but cried. hot and heavy tears fell down my cheeks. he did nothing but stand there, hugging me tightly.

then he asked what happened, i told him.

i told him i deserved it.

that i deserved to be beaten and dead. i deserved everything that came my way.

i told him i didn't deserve him.

that's when he let go of the hug, and pulled away. i was confused for a moment as he searched my face. but then he kissed me, hard.

we stood there at the door, just kissing each other.

then i pulled away for breath. he looked me right in the eyes.

"i don't deserve you." was all he said.

i couldn't help but feel awful.