Eeeeeeeep. Eeeeeeeep. Eeeeeeeep.
5:00, Wednesday. Schedule: morning stretches and yoga, heat water for tea, get ready (hair and makeup), make breakfast, drink tea, and leave at 6:30 to drive to the academy. The academy is about an hour from where we live, a little house out in the countryside of Anglebrooks. The academy is nestled inside the bustling downtown of Anglebrooks, which is much less lonely than the large, spanning grassy hills.
I clonk the black button on my alarm clock with my frail porcelain palm, and do just all of the above. Swishing around the vitamins in my huge lime-tinted water bottle, I peer outside the window of the petite navy minivan. I realized, at that moment, there wasn't much to do out on the grasslands my house is plopped on.
"Mother?"
"Mm?", her finger taps on the steering wheel.
"Why do we live out in the country?"
"............... Well, it's small, doesn't cost much so we can pay for other things, and your activities are always in the town, so being out in the country where there aren't many activities isn't a problem."
" Well, why don't we move into a small house in the city?"
She pursed her small peach lips and squeezed the steering wheel.
"..... Don't you like the country, Arya?"
" Well, I guess so... I just don't really do much out there except in the house."
" Our house works just fine, Arya, no need to move. I certainly like where we live, and you do, it's not always better in the city."
" Yes mother."
Mother seemed a bit more tense. Maybe it was because of where we used to live. I could see her with her certain look on her face. Worrisome eyes, expressionless frown, and a bit of a heaviness. I hope it wasn't a memory of father.
We pull up to the big building of the Academy of Dance and Movement Art, with the title in big blue letters and tall, eggshell concrete walls. It was almost empty today, considering that after the competition last night, regular classes were off. But mother scheduled my private lesson with Victor this morning anyway; she thinks it best I take lessons everyday possible.
I weaved my way through the large, mall-like facility, and found my way to the small studio with one wall made up of glass window, overlooking some of the city.
"ta,talala, talala, and prep.... PA! PA! PA! PA!"
Victor clapped on my set of twelve fouettes, followed by 4 pirouettes. I spotted the little smugde on the mirror; luckily during my performance, there was a person in a seat sleeping for me to spot in the same angle. His roaring voice boomed louder and louder as I finished the last 2 pirouettes, spinning out to land... And flopped my arms. I was so tired.
" You must LAND that sequence! The fouettes were beautiful, but the pirouettes tilted, you must keep going!"
My hands collapsed onto my thighs, and I panted lethargically.
" You seem tired. Are you?" He inquired in his thick French accent.
I didn't say anything. I don't want him to think I'm lazy.
" Arya, dear, it is okay, you have worked hard. Sit down, you don't seem well"
I huffed and collapsed onto the floor, just sitting there. I might have worked myself too hard. I had no energy. Victor grabbed my dripping water bottle, handed it to me, and sat in front of me nonchalantly.
"Why don't we just chat? You have worked very very hard, and it seems you need to talk about something."
I am surprised, Victor always pushes me no matter how tired I get. This is strange.
" Um, yeah... I think I am fine. Yeah. I think I am just fatigued from yesterday." I sputtered.
"Yes, you are..."
He peered outside the door. My mother was pacing anxiously up and down the hall, with the same look on her face she had in the car.
" Did something happen with you and her?"
" No........... Well, on the way to here this morning, I asked my mother why we live out in the country, and she seemed a bit hesitant to respond. Maybe it was because she wanted to live far away from where we used to live with my dad. And ever since he dissapeared, and I bring up the city, she just makes that face, and I think she might have anxiety or something about it because every single time I say something that relates to it, she makes the same face. And it makes her look older and sad, and I dont know."
Victor sat back, stunned. His eyes seemed shocked. I don't vent to really anyone. I didn't know I should vent. I didn't know I thought that. Come to think of it, I really don't have any friends to vent to.
His mouth dropped slightly.
"Arya, dear. Are you alright?"
I buried my face in my knees. And just stayed there.
"Arya, listen. Go home, sleep. And dear, you need to say these things to people. It's not good to bottle it up. Now go home."
He rubbed my shoulder, waited a few moments, then stood up and offered a hand to help me up. I got up methodically, told my mother his instructions, and headed back home. The car ride was silent and gray.
As soon as I reached my bed, my body declared to stay in bed and my mind in the silent, gray car ride until the next morning.
