It Pays to be a Fangirl (Brendon Urie)

one

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memories

turn

into

daydreams

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"You'll never meet them. You don't mean anything to them. All you'll ever be is just another fan!" I wake up thrashing violently, my bedsheets and comforter tangled. I sigh as the words echo in my mind for the thousandth time. No. I can't listen to it. I watch as the other girls in my room sleep quietly, their chests rising up and down peacefully. The sound of an airplane startles me. Carefully, trying not to disturb anyone, I climb down from the top of the bunk where I sleep. If anyone notices me, I'm dead. Ms. Callahan has not been very happy with me lately. Ms. Callahan is the owner of this orphanage. She's not really one of those cliquey mistreating orphanage mistresses- she's quite young. She is usually very loving, but lately she has caught me trying to sneak a snack downstairs. It is kind of my fault, then, I guess. My life here at the orphanage isn't too bad, actually- most of the girls are nice and we have good meals. There isn't a lot of money here, but we make do with what we have. I walk across the room to the dresser and open my drawer, kneeling down. Quietly, I find my phone and my earbuds. I shut the drawer, careful not to wake any of the other fifteen-year-old girls in the room. Standing up, I accidentally knock the dresser and a water bottle falls off!

  "Abree... is that you up?" My head whips around to the no-longer sleeping girl as she whispers the words. I did it. I messed up again.

"Yes, it's me," I whisper, frustrated. Even through Eve is my best friend, this was supposed to be my own time. I don't want to be interrupted.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," Eve says. "Why are you up again, Abree?"

"Couldn't sleep." I slip my phone and earbuds into one of the pockets in my sweatpants, hoping she doesn't notice. "Go back to bed. We can talk tomorrow as much as we want, because tomorrow's Saturday."

"Fine. But tomorrow, you have to tell me why you stayed up again."

"Alright," I said as she fell asleep again.  I dug through my drawer, more quietly and carefully this time so i wouldn't wake anyone. There. I found my sharpies. I had a whole set, but this time I picked one regular black one. I tiptoed back to my bunk and climbed up. I sat at the end of my bunk, and sat with my back touching the wall. I take my phone and use it for light. Then, I draw. All of my insecurities and fears drawn away into the ink on my hand. When it was finished, I put the sharpie in my pocket.  I put on my headphones and turned on one of my favorite P!ATD songs. Northern Downpour started playing, and the familiar warm feeling seeping through my body.

With the familiar tune ringing in my ears, I fell asleep.

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A/N:
SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS SO LONG!!! They might all end up like that, I'm sorry. It's just easier to write that. Anyway, thanks for being a trooper and reading the whole thing! Hugs :)