UFF the duff (10 things I hate about you)

Mirror mirror on the wall, Kat's the most screwed up of them all

I looked at myself in the mirror. What a wreck. Puffy eyes. Fucked up make up. And a freaking pregnancy test. Positive. And do you know the worst thing? I don't even know who the father is.

If I was 100% certain it was Patrick's I might be okay. I might even want to keep it. I might even be excited about it. But no. Being the emotional mess that I am, fucking Kat had to go and screw Jackson. Jackson. I don't even remember why I did it.

We were just talking about guitars. He plays bass in Patrick's band. God what am I doing. He plays bass in Patrick's band. Patrick. What am I doing I love Patrick so much. Maybe if I don't tell him and just go and get an abortion right now...but no there is half a chance that it could be his and I cant take that away from him. Don't want to. Maybe I should just run away to China and change my name to Dog.

I smack my head against the mirror. Uff.  No good. Again. Uff. The Kat staring back at me still looks like someone murdered all of her pets. Or all of her children. A hand instinctively goes to my tummy. There's a little guy or gal in there. What if I want to keep- hoe no Kat. Don't you dare go down that route. It simply isn't an option.

If that door is opened then what if Jackson wants a paternity test and it turns out to be his. I'm such a fuck up. Who'd have thought- Katerina Stratford: still in high school and pregnant with her boyfriends band mate. Sounds like one of those crappy reality shows that the skinny rich blondes obsess over at break. They would watch that. My life has become such a joke. I was supposed to go places.

I think I should tell him. Tell Patrick that I fucked his bass player? Who am I kidding? That'll never happen. I'll lie about it and tell him I'm pregnant. He'll be shocked but Patrick's a good guy so he'll at least pretend to be proud of me and spin me around like a princess. Like we're in some twisted fairytale story and im fucking Cinderella. Maybe we'll keep it and it'll be his and no. This isn't right. This isn't me. Besides, Bianca would know. She can tell when I'm feeling...off. I swear that kid has these weird psychic abilities. I have to tell him.  I have to look him in the eye, muster up all the strength I can possibly find, and tell him. And then we'll go and get the abortion together.