Professor of Secrets

4

I own nothing. If I was JK or Uncle Rick I would have used the profits by now to make a doomsday weapon. Uhh, pretend I didn't say anything.

Harry woke up with a mop of red hair in his face. He shot up and knocked into Ron's head. Ron stumbled away, clutching his forehead.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Wha' d'ya mean?" Harry replied groggily. "I wake up to find you staring in my face. Who wouldn't be surprised?"

"You didn't have to crack my skull though! I'm hungry and I want breakfast."

Harry rolled his eyes and rolled over. Except he misjudged how far away he was from the side of the bed and fell onto the hard floor. He groaned. What a way to start the morning.

After a lot of shouting, shaking and a great deal of cold water, Ron and Harry were finally walking down the stairs of the boys' dormitory, looking very dishevelled. Hermione was waiting in the common room, impatiently tapping a foot.

"There you are, I've been waiting ages," she complained. "Now lets go down to breakfast. I'm hungry and I am certain that Ron is. He's always hungry."

Ron looked hurt. "That's not a bad thing. In fact, I think it's a bonus."

Hermione shrugged. "Everyone to their own taste."

She turned and walked out through the portrait hole with Ron and Harry trailing behind, desperately trying to straighten out their robes and make themselves presentable. They did not want a detention or points deducted from Snape on the first day.

They walked into the Great Hall, Ron pulling ahead and running to sit at the bench. He started eating before he had even sat down properly. The other two sat on either side of him, taking their own food.

On the teacher's table Professor McGonagall was laughing at something Professor Jackson had said. Professor Jackson was wearing a bemused expression like he didn't quite know what he said that was so funny.

Suddenly a swarm of owls descended onto the hall, carrying parcels and letters from family and friends. Except, today the owls weren't going towards to object of their deliveries, but rather the new professor.

Professor Jackson gulped. Oh no. Now he had to deal not only with Professor McGonagall's owl, but all the owls in Hogwarts.

The owls circled above the table for a few seconds then all at once fell onto Professor Jackson, pecking and clawing him. Feathers flew everywhere and parcels and letters lay discarded at the edge of the scuffle.

Professor Jackson tried batting the birds away but more kept coming. By now the entire hall was in uproar, either in laughter, concern or outrage, nobody knew. Ron was just looking at it with a piece of toast halfway to his mouth, in complete silence. Harry was having an internal battle of whether to laugh or help while Hermione was yelling at people to stop laughing.

Over on the Slytherin table, Harry saw Malfoy rolling on the floor with hysterics. Luna and Neville were in a similar predicament.

To Harry's ultimate surprise, stern Professor McGonagall was laughing as well. What was going on? He saw her wipe away a tear and say something to the owls. As far as bird expressions go, they looked sheepish. (Birds looked sheepish, who knew?)

Percy sighed in relief and muttered under his breath. "Phew. Gods dam why do wizards have to deliver their post by owl? Can't they use a Poseidon-friendly method? Stupid rivalry with Athena..." His head shot up and looked at Professor McGonagall. "No offence."

Harry looked around to see everyone had gone back to eating except Luna, Neville and Malfoy but they were shut up with a glare from the professor. His glares were scary. Harry did not ever want to be on the receiving end. He heard snatches of Professor Jacksons mutterings, "-wizards...owl...friendly...rivalry...Athena..."