Struggles of the empty soul

Inflicted

Jan 30th, 2016 - 11.18pm

Falling in love with someone that's no good for you. It's the worst feeling in the world, your consciously allowing yourself to get hurt by this person. You know what he's doing, how he's manipulating you mind, body and soul. It's dangerous but you can't get enough. It's intoxicating, like an addiction you can't get rid of.. Always craving more, wanting it to last and feel that high when you're with him.

Actively choosing to stay with a person who's capable of toying with your emotions is like a cancer, it will always remain, even when it's gone, the effects that it had are colossal, you can still feel the way you did even when you're not with them.

So what's the end game, how do you stop yourself, can you stop yourself.. Do you want it to stop?! You're addicted, that's it you can't shake it, it's going to be with you all the time, even while you're trying to occupy time it's there.. In the back of your mind. You want your next fix, you want that adrenaline back in your system.

It's cruel, they way they can just do that.. Pick and choose what to mess with, your mind, your body, your heart. It's a game to them.. 'Let's see what part we can get her to give up first.' They know what they're doing, they know the emotions they make you feel and as much as you try to hide and deny them, they're there, you know it and so does he. So who's really to blame?

He has you wrapped around his finger and there's nothing you can do other than comply, because that's what you wanted, you wanted to feel those things, you wanted something to fill the void, the emptiness and now there's something there you ravish it, devour every second you have with them.

What then? What happens when he's had enough, when he's had his fill of you and you're there, stuck and unable to do anything about the sudden change in his emotions. He doesn't want to play with you anymore. So what are you left with, A broken heart? but surely you knew what you were getting into with this person, you knew what he was like, the way he works. You chose to stay and play his game. Maybe you thought you could be the one to change him, make him feel something that he hasn't felt for anyone else, help him find a new perspective.

Know that you've realised it's futile what are you going to do.