She's All That

A Walk to Remember

Enjoy!

My brothers are assholes! Did you know that? You probably did, I mean I keep saying that but still.... I thought I'd just re-emphasise that. A-S-S-H-O-L-E spells asshole.

So yeah, its three days later - the day after the twins party and like I said, they're grounded. This time it was the 52 inch flat screen LCD TV that decided to magically grow a ping-pong table. I don't know nor do I want to know how this happened. Let's just say no one in the house was pleased.

Remember how I told you that I wasn't allowed to go to Danny's house? Well, guess what? I really wasn't. My parents kind of said no and worse, my brothers 'forbade' me from going there. Well guess again assholes, I went to Danny's house! So there!

But things weren't all rainbows and unicorns when I got there. 

You know the feeling you get, in the pit of your stomach, like you're free falling but actually your feet are cemented to the ground?

Yeah, well, hearing Danny say those three words made the puke-inducing situation ten times worse - "I am sorry."

"I never meant to hurt you...", he continued with that tired old line, but all I heard were the lyrics to 'Jar of hearts', as our entire relationship flashed before my eyes - every glance, every tear, every kiss - like a slideshow, telling me how fragile it all was and how easily it could be broken.

I stayed emotionless, the song slowly being drowned out by the frantic beating of my breaking heart. Pretty soon, the tears began to fall. 

"Fuck! Baby, I'm sorry. I'm such a...", Danny looked straight into my eyes and slowly pulled my shaking body to his chest.

Those big beautiful grey eyes that once could look deep into my soul and show me the love I thought he felt for me, now barley grazed the surface.

"I hate you.", I whispered and pushed my way out of his grip.

"Julianne!", his voice echoing out my name but I just continued running away from him. I didn't turn. I couldn't. The boy I loved was now dead to me.

Walking away from him was probably the only real part of our relationship.

Disney's got it totally wrong - feeding 'happily ever after' bullshit to young impressionable minds. What they completely skip out is how your 'knight-in-shining-armor' is using you for his own personal revenge story. 

108 messages, 72 phone calls, 16 voicemail, 8 notes and 3 attempts to sneak into my room later, I still wasn't speaking to him. The boy had cajones, I'll give you that, but I wasn't about to give in and get back together with that back-stabbing, lying son of a--

My phone buzzed indicating the 109th message he had sent.

The weekend wasn't over and I still wasn't ready to face the world. I just wanted to crawl in bed, eat bucket after bucket of Ben and Jerry's and cry myself to sleep watching every Nicholas Sparks' movie under the sun.

To say the least, everyone was having a great week except for me. You know how people say that the tables turn? Well mine were freaking flipped over and broken at the legs. My entire life was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt like a piece of me, actually half of me, was  missing and there was no way of getting it back.

The weekend finally was coming to an end but I was still no closer to figuring out where we stood. What was I going to do? I couldn't go like this, like I had (heaven forbid) diagnosed with cancer, nor could I just forget it never happened and move on. It was complicated. And to make matters worse, Sunday night happened.

It was around  10:30 on Sunday and I was just watching 'A Walk to Remember' on my bed when out of nowhere a pair of hands hugged me from behind. I gasped and was just about to let out a ear piercing scream when the hands covered my mouth. I looked up into those grey eyes I loved so much.

"Glad to see your ninja skills are still intact.", he smirked down at me.

The tears just fell, before I could even stop them.

"Hey sweetheart.", he cupped my face in his hands. "I'm sorry", he whispered. "I had no right to do any of that."

"But you did." I pushed his hands away.

The hurt in his eyes was undeniable. "Don't push me away, baby."

"Danny."

"Jules."

"Danny, please don't--" I couldn't even look into those eyes again.

He pulled my chin up and looking straight into my soul, closed the distance between us. 

"No, Danny!", I grabbed fistful of his T-shirt and tried to push him away. Keyword here - TRIED. But, I couldn't. I could only lean into his chest, trembling with fear and sadness as my tears framed the words my mouth just couldn't say.

"Jules.", he pulled me closer to him and the scent of vanilla overcame me. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulder and I sank deeper into the comfort of his arms. It felt like something I hadn't felt in a long time, long before this incident. It felt like home.

Morning came, and with it, the awkwardness of a shared night with the one I was supposed to hate, but I didn't really get a chance to experience that because the space on the bed next to me was empty. That's right. He had left me. All that was left of last night was a miserable note. Like a note was going to make up for leaving me after I fell asleep in your arms listening to your heartbeat. I almost tore it apart. It read:

My love ,

I wish there was a less cliche word to use than sorry but there isn't. I wish with all my heart that I could undo what I did. Sweetheart, I didn't leave because I didn't want to face you. I left because I know you needed space. I love you. I always will, and if you'll have me back, I promise to make it up to you. I know I don't deserve you. I used you. Baby, please let me earn your trust again. I'll do anything.

Love always, Danny. 

Fuck. Well I guess a note will do.