So before my delightful iPhone dies.. I wanted to write about this.
As a 7cups listener I speak to a lot of sad people.. But you know it doesn't actually hit you and realise how grief makes a human being feel unless you've been there yourself.
Take these two situations of mine for example..
My great grandad died awhile back.. And I didn't feel anything why? Because I didn't know him that well.. Obviously I felt bad for my mum.
But then I went to the funeral and as soon as the sad music came on.. I couldn't stop crying.. I figured it must've been my time of the mouth.
But when Sofia my friend died on the 9th of July 2015. It hit me like a train.. I did things I never should've done but hey.. I was grieving.
I could see the families side of it but at the same time my side.. I probably should've grieved privately rather than posting on the Facebook pages all the time.. And on my own wall (They hated that)
But obviously I didn't understand why they was so against that.. I'd finally met someone so caring and someone that actually understood me and didn't pretend to understand me and tell me not to be stupid or grow up etc..
But again they didn't understand that..
So here I am on my own again struggling to make friends with people who don't mind that I talk random bullshit when I'm bored and don't mind that I'm affectionate.
That's just me.. And I'm never going to change but sooner or later I feel like I'm gonna end up giving up.. If my little sister didn't come along when she did 6 years ago.. I probably wouldn't be here right now and I would've given up.
I told Sofia all this and she got it.. It's just so sad I couldn't help her and she took her own life..
Nobody understands that disability has different effects on other people.. I struggle with pain everyday and most importantly I want to be independent but there's so many things I can't do and people are pushing me to do it when they know and I've told them that I can't do it.
So unless you know me preatty well and walked around in my shoes.. You have no right to say that..
In glad I've got you wattpaders to cheer me up when I'm feeling low.
