No Good Person

Chapter 7: Remorse

I sat up and grabbed my head.

Where am I...?

It's dark in here...

Some debris fell from somewhere above revealing some light above me.

I'm in the ruins... of the building I destroyed...

I'm still alive...?

I held onto my head as it throbbed.

"Fuck! Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!"
Tears started to flow down my cheeks...

I failed you 'grandpa'... I didn't follow your advice...

I... I was weak...

"Agh..."

I looked a little ways from me to see the police officer from earlier lying halfway crushed under some rubble. He's alive...?

I stumbled my way towards him and sat down on top of a large piece of concrete.

I breathed in deeply, only to cough out the dust and dirt from my lungs.

"Hey... are you alright...?"

The officer looked at me.

"You... you're..."
I looked up at the sunlight from the small gap in the ceiling.

"That's right... I'm the one that did this... I killed these people... I-"
I didn't mean to... I...

The police officer looked at me pleadingly.

"Why...? How could you ... you monster."

I shook my head.

Why...?

Why did I do this...?

"I don't know why myself..."
I explained to him the events that led up to this point.

The officer stayed silent, but coughed every few minutes.

After I finished I grabbed the pistol from my back pocket and pulled it out.

"That's the story... of how I became a mass murderer... how I..."
The officer shook his head.

"... you..."

I held the pistols barrel against my forehead as I breathed in quietly.

It's cold...

"What choices do I have now...? If I kill you... I can escape relatively unscathed... but then again I could..."

I tilted the pistol shakily towards my face.

The officer slammed his hand into the ground.

"No! Look... I will admit that if I wasn't pinned down I would hardly have listened to you... but... now that I have... I need to tell you that you can redeem yourself! I may not be in any position to say so but-"

Redemption doesn't seem very close right now...

"I have already gone too far... I am no good person... I am a villain... I have fallen so far that I..."
The police officer tried to pull himself free.

I looked at the pistol in my shaky hands.

"Redemption seems like a very far place from here right now... I can't turn back-"
"It's never too late to turn back! You do know it's a hell of a lot better that falling further, right?"

"Even if I do, no matter what I do everyone will still despise me for this. Even if I pay off my debt this sin will forever stain my heart... it will forever stain the person I am..."
The officer looked at me again, with a pain in his eyes, yet a deep determination behind them.

"Anyone can do the right thing... even after all this... let me help you. I can help you out of this... I know you never wanted any of this... let me help you!"
I laughed slightly.

"Help me...? Seems like you're the one that needs help right now..."
The officer looked at me again.

"Anyone can do terrible things-you know that! It's what they do because of it that defines them! Look I know right now I am in no place to talk, but... I don't want to see another person go bad because they feel as if all other options are cut off... someone I knew... help me out of here, and I will help you out."
That sounds like familiar advice...

Who said it... wait... it was...

"'To two men, what is being Valiant? If one wishes to do something and justify their actions for the sake of their wellbeing, then they have poisoned their own waters. The other who does something and does not justify their actions on feeling but rather on consequence will face the sting of his choices, but he will also be the valiant. For the Valiant of heart do not face villains alone, but the villain lurking inside-the demons hidden inside the heart. The Valiant, act 1."

I have to face my choices... and justify my future actions based on their results.

I killed people... so many people... but my sin will not leave even in death...

I dropped the pistol onto the ground and made my way to the officer. I started to remove the rubble from around him and pulled him out once the concrete and other debris loosened around him.

I looked at him.

"Please... help me."