Onn drecshon x Sophia

Onn drecshon x Sophia - ON TOUR?????

OMG. I COULDNT BELV IT.

I'm gooen on toure wit 1D????

"um soephia r u ok lol" sed zayen

"Uh yeah hahahhhhh. (be my boyfriend pls.)" I respunded

"LOL OK LET'S GO OIN TOUUUURR!"

tey thru me on the bus and I lended on the oneD flor.

omg....it wus like hueven.

it smelled like their farts in ther. I tuk a whiff of the fresh aeir.

I stud up and luked around. on teh tahbles wer thes oneD dolls maeking out lol.

in teh bedroms, I saw der dieares. I pecked up one and red it.

"deer diry,

so um wer gunna go 2 jawntrun hihgscool and we're goin to maek this gurl named soapy or clementine pert of ouer tour, idk why because sh's nowt tat important lol anyways I'm still in luv with hrrry ;D"

Wo???? some1's in luv wit hrry????

I turnehed teh deriy arund, but der was no name on it.

lol because am smart, I tuk a pic of some of teh pages and postehed it to tweeter.

"um Sophia who dew u wont 2 slepp wit?" sed teh bus dreever

"um whi dew u wont 2 kno???? its nun of ur buessnes." I sed.

"What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer butt off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now."

"UHHHHHH I WONT TO SLEPP WIT ZAYEN????"

"ok"

en of chapter tree