The feelings that jumble inside of me, are never good.
When I look sad, I feel mad.
When I look lonely, I feel depressed.
When I look mad, I'm scorching with emotions.
When I look happy, I'm at my worst.
It's all an act that I put on, because when I'm happy, I'm scared out f my mind. Worry sinking through my pale flesh. I fight back everything I've ever wanted to say and put on a smile.
At school I'm the new girl, the happy girl. Plenty of new friends. I can't ever feel the smile that's plastered on my face. They never get me, and when I'm home. I'm in another trance. There is not one person in the world that understands me. Why, can't there be somebody. So when I'm sad, I can cry on their shoulder, when I'm mad, they can sooth me. When for once I'm actually happy, they can smile with me.
I'm always depressed, do I have reasons. People don't seem to think so, but there is. And when people tell me I am. I cry. I'm emotional sometimes. I hold grudges. I fight tears and bite back laughs. I am me. I can only ever be me.
I can only be me.
-fangirl416
