Just Thought I'd Let You Know

Girl #3

Hey, so listen up. I don't mean to be rude, but do you realize you are? I don't think you do. I'm over here, doing all I can, to make your life a little less hell. Now, have I messed up along the way? Yes, oh god, yes. I've messed up too many times to count. However, that's the difference between us. I acknowledge my mistakes, and I vow to not do them again. I understand the effect every action I do to someone will have an effect on them, and a repercussion on me, whether it be good or bad. You, however, don't. You have excuses, "reasons" why you act the way you do, and how your actions are absolutely due to them. I understand you can't control your emotions, and I fully believe what you say. You know how you feel better than I ever could. However, you CAN control your response to those emotions. You have complete control over your actions. You just choose to let your emotions control you.

I say something, in the past, and you get mad at me, so I say what you want, and you're happy. So, I say that again, and then you get offended. You keep me guessing to the point I'm losing sleep wondering whether or not I can make less mistakes tomorrow, and maybe salvage the wreckage our friendship is in. I'm trying, I am. Tell me what I'm doing wrong and I'll try and fix it. You're an amazing friend, but right now, you sure aren't acting like it. If anything, I'm a punching bag; your lack of care for anything is being directed at me. 

You're always so argumentative. I don't mean to get in arguments, and I'm admitting fault here: I cause quite a few. I'll promise I'll try to stop. I don't agree with a lot of what you say, but personally, I would rather sacrifice my views and everything that make me 'me' than see you so upset. You're always stressed and rarely happy; do you understand I'm doing everything I can to make it slightly better? I don't expect you to show appreciation. You hardly ever have, and it would be too weird for you to start with "thank you's". If you're really thankful, stop treating me like trash. I'm your friend, and I'll do almost anything for you, but I'm getting sick and tired of going home emotionally drained from trying to please you and failing in every attempt all day long. It gets exhausting. 

Why won't you talk to me? Please. Is something going on at home? WHY won't you get help? You need it. I have medicine, albeit over-the-counter (but still medicine), to help me, but you have nothing. Please, I'm begging you, as not only your friend but as a person who cares about others, to PLEASE get the help you need. You may be scared, but you shouldn't be. I want you to be happy, but you need to understand: sometimes people have to have help. I can't be your only help. You're breaking, crumbling into pieces of what once was, and every crumble is a boulder that lands on me to piece back together. No matter how many times I keep rebuilding, I'm not skilled enough to keep this building together alone. I need help with it. So if not for your own sake, do it for mine, please. 

And I'm sure, if you read this, you're now more than likely upset. I didn't mean to make you that way, but there's no point in telling you face-to-face. I never have the chance, anyway (not because of you, but public settings aren't ideal for these types of conversations). Please don't miss the meaning of this though. Let me sum it up here:

tl;dr: you're hurting me, i'm trying to help, i'm messed up, i'm sorry, please get help b/c i can't be your only source, i know you don't believe me but I'm doing this because i care for you, please listen for once.

Love you fam.