Kill Me, I'm 3 Faced (VII)

What I Could've Done

I always think what I could've done. To further happiness. God, I could've done so much. Well, I guess this is good, I now know what I can do more of. 

How the fuck could I let shit slip.

They're is only one solution.

Leaving. I mean, just for a while. A day away from everybody and everything. I just think that maybe if it won't now, it might never. And I know I'm over exaggerating things. Yes, I know this shit won't matter in the long run.

Fuck the long run. Live in the present. Live for now. That's what I was doing, and maybe that's where I went wrong. 

It's just like, I can make it through everything but I don't want too. I want someone here, and it sucks that they're no one here right now. 

And once again, I know I'm over-reacting but it's hard and I wish people understood that I hold onto people. Whether or not we met 10 years ago or 10 seconds ago. To me, the more people you have to your the side, the less likely you are to become alone. I can't just forget things, like it never happened.

I still remember what I was doing 4 years ago on July 18th. I still remember how upset I was 7 months ago. I remember a lot of things and a lot of faces. And if that's not being human, then fuck, what is?

So back to leaving, Friday, February 5th. I'm going miles away from here in a beautiful city where I wish to live one day. Maybe I'll come back, or maybe I shouldn't. I don't even know who's deciding for who anymore.