The morning
We were packing up
I missed breakfast
I always did
I had stopped eating
And no one noticed
That all this
All my behavior
was one big
Cry for help.
She was walking by
I didn't know why
But I stopped her
Because she was like
My own guardian angel
That couldn't save
Me.
She couldn't be real
She looked at me
Really looked
Blue eyes
Digging into my own
And I saw the plead
Because I was leaving
And she wouldn't be around
Tonight to tell me
That it wasn't my time.
I opened my mouth
In a fit of rage ready to tell her
To fuck off
Because I was ready
But the words
They wouldn't come
And she gave me
Her softest smile
And said
"You don't want to die tonight
When you're ready to go
Just take one more breath
To clear your mind.
Every moment is relevant
It can be bittersweet
And delicate
But it all matters
And it all leads to good;
To a happy ending."
And she was gone
Like I thought she would be
Because she wasn't real
She was in my head
It was me
I knew it had to be
It was my own way
Of trying to save myself
But the dark side
Of my mind
Was winning
And he was saying
It's time to go.
I wanted
The girl
My light
To be stronger
I wanted her to win
And she was putting up a fight
But I didn't know
If that was good
Because before
I had been so certain
Of the darkness winning
And now
She had instilled hope
Inside me.
