Amaranthine

Chapter Nine

© Copyright 2011
All work is property of Leah Crichton, any duplication or reproduction of all or part of the work without explicit permission by the author is illegal.

Equanimity: (ee-kwuh-nim-i-tee)

mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain

Calmness, equilibrium

I poured myself a hot bath and sank into the water. I tried, desperately and without one iota of success, not to think of him, but the way thoughts of him crowded my mind, I wondered if I’d taken Chloe’s obsession to a new level. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t this girl. Before the accident I’d been a reclusive caterpillar secure within myself, and now I felt like some butterfly emerging from its cocoon all on account of Orion’s coaxing. Impressive, yet terrifying.

I brushed my teeth, combed my hair into a ponytail, labored through the task of putting on pajamas, and crawled into my lush bed, allowing my thoughts to drift to Orion’s miraculous treatment of my foot. The questions whorled like a frenzied tornado. It was easy to blame the accident for producing hallucinations and I knew I couldn't trust my shattered mind just yet; a horrible revelation in itself, but I saw him. I saw him take my foot and make it better. Trying to justify something so unreasonable with reason was draining. I wanted nothing more than to silence my thoughts, so I closed my eyes, willing sleep to keep the things that haunted me away—but somehow they knew where to find me.   

***

We are back in the car again.  The mountains tower over us, looming, casting dark ominous shadows over the already grey sky. The rain is torrential.

Snickers sits between Luke and me, panting with an absent look on his face, wondering why tension hangs in the air.  My mom is wide-eyed while my dad is squinting through the windshield wipers as they work on overdrive, providing nothing more than a temporary reprise.

I blink, and when I open my eyes the truck is careening, hydroplaning toward us. I open my mouth to scream but it’s locked inside my throat. I look over at Luke and see the terrible expression of someone who is sure he is about to take his last breath.

The truck slams into the side of our car and rips my body from its safety, the seatbelt tearing with the force.  I’m ejected; my body flies across the car through the jagged edges of the shattered glass. Everything is so loud. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. The only thing that runs through my mind is Please, God, not like this.

Am I in rainwater or a pool of my own blood?  I open my mouth to scream, but only a groan escapes.  I try to turn my head, but I can’t.  Every bone in my body feels like it’s made of lead. I want my mom.

I can hear footsteps sloshing through the rain on the road. Someone is coming for me.

“H-h-help me. P-p-lease.” My bottom lip is trembling.

“Shhh,” a voice says. “Everything is going to be okay.”

The shadow moves closer, and when he bends down, I recognize him. It’s Orion.

“Orion.” the words that come out are hardly audible.

“Shhh, don’t talk.”

I don’t talk.  I scream.

***