Amaranthine

Chapter Thirty Four

 © Copyright 2011
All work is property of Leah Crichton, any duplication or reproduction of all or part of the work without explicit permission by the author is illegal.

Adieu: (uh-doo)

goodbye, farewell

the act of departing or leaving

When we pulled up to the hospital, my stomach churned. I glanced over at Orion, who looked even sicker than I felt. “Orion, what’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Something’s wrong. What is it?”

He sighed heavily. “I’m just worried. I’m not sure you’ll be able to go through with this after you see your dad. It’s not going to be easy for you.”

“None of this has been easy for me.”

“I know,” he said. “But what you are about to do is ten times harder than anything you’ve been through so far.” Orion was trying desperately to hide the fear in his voice.  He didn’t want my decision to change.

“Orion, I’m not going to change my mind.” I wrapped my arms around his waist.

He kissed the top of my forehead.  “You have every right to change it, you know. I can’t actually make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I want to be with you forever.”

“I hope you still feel that way after this.” He nodded in the direction of the hospital.

“I have to say goodbye, Orion. I have to.”

“I know.” His voice was heavy. “C’mon, Tiger.”

We continued walking, but after only a few steps my feet didn’t want to move.  Orion stopped and turned to face me. “What?” he asked.

“This is going to be hard,” I said.  He had just pointed this out moments ago, but I hadn’t actually thought about my hasty decision.  I was going to say goodbye to my father for the entire rest of his life.

“Yes.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t do this.” I tried to keep my voice steady.

“You were right.  You need to.  You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.” Orion didn’t want me to do this at all, but he was putting aside his fear for what he thought would be best for me. “I’ll be right beside you.  It’ll be okay.”

Reluctantly I moved forward.  I breathed deeply, took Orion’s hand, and headed inside. When we got to my room, Dr. Stephenson was standing with my dad, his hand settled on my dad’s shoulder.  “Listen, Bill, I’m really very sorry. I can’t imagine what you are going through and I won’t pretend to try.  But it’s been six months now and she’s not making any progress.  I really do recommend that we cease all life sustaining measures. We are only prolonging the inevitable.”

I saw Orion’s eyebrow rise, but he didn’t say a word.  He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.  My dad was absolutely heartbroken.  Tears streamed from his eyes. He didn’t even try to hide them.  “Can I have a minute, please?”

“Absolutely, take as long as you need.” Dr. Stephenson’s voice was low and comforting.  “You just let me know when you’re ready.”

My dad nodded.  Dr. Stephenson left the room and my dad came undone.  His entire body shook as he walked to the bed where I lay.  He sat in the seat beside my body.  He didn’t know I was standing right behind him.  Lovingly, he placed one hand on my forehead. The other hand came to rest lightly on my arm. “Ireland,” he said, shaking his head.  “I’m so sorry, pumpkin.  I don’t know what else to do.  Mom’s not here anymore, and I usually rely on her to make the decisions.  I miss her, you know, more than you can possibly imagine.  But she’s got Luke with her, so she’ll be okay.  He was a great son, and I know he’s going to take care of her.  He’ll take care of you, too.”