Dakota

Tea for Anxiety

Strings, thick strings are pulling me, pulling me to different directions, that if they kept on pulling I might be shred into pieces and die.

It was the feeling after I woke up from a passionate dream. Or maybe, it was not really a dream, because it feels like reality. Like I just danced, sexy dance, all night long with a lover. That lover that I didn’t even know the name, but I suddenly became so obsessed to him. Like, right now, eight in the morning, I wanted to sleep again just for the sake of meeting him again. He’s so damn beautiful, that if I have a genie I’ll wish to see him and be with him forever. Or I’ll fly to Mt. Olympus and pray to the Gods that bless me a power to do that, to be with that beautiful stranger, all over again.

It wasn’t like these before, I dream, but not so realistic. It was the third time that, that same man, whom in my estimation has same age as me. Show up in my dream again, danced with me, talk to me, show me love and affection, but when I say the powerful words that every couple would loved to say, he’s face would change, and he will suddenly leave me. It’s excruciating. It’s the third time that I dreamed about it, here, in our new suburban estate house. Actually the only thing that had been renovated was the rooms, the rest, still looking like an old European inspired house. With so many rooms and hallways, that I feel like I need more months to memorize.   

It’s a Sunday, and I am expected to join the family for a Brunch at the pool side pavilion where the other close family friends will eventually visit. I wouldn’t mean to brag, but our family is in the highest class of this society, my late father is a governor and a business man, my mother is a famous clothing and jewellery designer. I have two older siblings, my sister, Elle and my brother, Scotty. Who also joined both political and business track that our father had started. I feel always left out because they are both smart and sophisticated, acting superior and elegant like the way my parents showed us, while me, I’m the shy type, I wouldn’t speak unless asked. I wouldn’t say what’s on my mind. I just kept silent, observing different things around me. I love that, scrutinizing what people wear, did, and most especially the way they look and say. Sometimes I can call myself as an observant, because I can easily tell if a person is being deceitful or not.

Anyway enough with me, I need to clean and prepare myself. After a few minutes of bathing, dressing, and then few retouching, I’m off to go.

There was a knock on my door, and I immediately opened the door, because I know it will just be Aurelia, my Spanish personal maid, whom where I learned to speak a lot of Spanish. She’s turning 54 next month, and I already I have a gift for her. A designer bag that she always wanted to have, she’ll be definitely happy. “I know you’re already ready.” Her motherly voice said. “Of course I always am.” I said, as polite as ever. “Oh, why do you have those circles around your eyes? Huh- honey?” She started to scrutinize my face while clacking her tongue. “Come on, let’s get you to the pavilion, and be sure to drink your grandmother’s homemade tea. It will help you with your anxieties...” 

Anxieties, do I have anxieties? Well, I think I have. I’m nervous to what might happen next when I meet my dream lover again tonight. Anxious because of what surprises our relatives and family friends have in mind. I think I really need a remedy.