Realms of the -illmafia Clique (rant book)

Biracial Stereotypes (ZoeTheHalfrican)

This rant is inspired by @enchantinghaze's rant, "stereotypical asses", from her rant book "Tf You Mean????"

You guys should really check her rant book, I facking love it.

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-Mixed people ALWAYS maintain a perfect, dark and beautiful tan all year round

-Mixed people are like beasts in basketball because they're half black

-Mixed people all look flawless like Zendaya or handsome like J. Cole

-Apparently all of we can rap fast like Eminem and sing high chords like Beyoncé

-We can twerk, whip, nae nae, and dab perfectly without looking too "white" while dancing

-Either we act one race or the other. Somehow you can't act normally as a "biracial" person

-We're all "snobs" and "boyfriend-stealers" ??

-The bodies of biracial people are equivalent to gods and goddesses. Toned arms, legs, abs (mainly toward guys but girls as well) and nice chest, booty, and thighs (toward girls)

- "Why is your hair so curly??" "Isn't your mom white and does she have straight hair?" "How come it's so nappy?" "Why don't you straighten it?" "You should wear it straight." "No, you should wear it natural and curly."

-We have "white names" like Emily or Jaden or "black names" like Shaniqua or Jerome. Our names aren't just simply names, they have a "race" modifier

- "Are you adopted? You look nothing like your parents."

- "Are you really tan or just light-skinned?"

- It's "frustrating" when our parents don't match

-Biracial people act all ghetto when they get mad

-Biracial people act all white when they get mad

- "If you grew up in the 1700s or 1800s, would you be a slave or slave owner? Or back in Civil Right Movement decades, would you be segregated or segregating?"

As a biracial girl myself, I have practically heard or just have known about all the stereotypes.

And here's the truth...

NOT ALL OF THEM ARE TRUE YA BISH. Let me calmly and explain them to you...

We're not always tan. Right now in winter, I'm not very dark nor pale. I'm just very light, like a cappuccino color. Sometimes the pigment in my skin looks kinda yellow (to me personally). But I can get darker in the spring and summer.

Truth is, I'm not very good at basketball. In middle school, in seventh grade and eight grade, I managed the girls' basketball team that my friends played on. And honestly, I love managing and doing statistics. It's not as boring as you think. But this year, I decided to be brave and try high school basketball to see what it's like.
Regardless, I love the sport of basketball. But the whole "player" thing isn't for me. Even though it's my first year, I just prefer managing.  So no, I'm not the next Elena Delle Donne or the female Michael Jordan. Sorry y'all.
I guess there's one less contact you can sign me to.

I guess if we're not beautiful as Zendaya, Halle Berry, Leona Lewis, or Mariah Carey or good-looking as Drake, Logic, J. Cole, or Shemar Moore, we aren't meeting the true expectations of being a beautiful biracial person. I guess we're "ugly"?
LIE.
That's absolutely and the most diabolically shadiest and rudest remark ever to claim. You don't have to look like a celebrity with a similar ethnicity background as you. Good God, we're all beautiful, inside and outside, can't you just understand through your thick mind? It's another childish move of pulling the lame bullying card for no reason.

As much as I love Marshall's amazing and complex rhymes and known them by heart, I-cannot-rap-Rap-God-or-basically-any-other-song-by-him-without-stuttering. Or just hip hop songs in general. I really have to focus and read the lyrics and try to enunciate the best I can. Often I stutter a lot, my brain thinks faster when I actually speak so therefore I kind of conjugate my words together and speak a little faster than usual. It's really irritating and I'm embarrassed by it. So no, I can't rap to save my life. I could if I tried hard enough and had lifelines.

Both sides of my family aren't super skinny nor obsessively obese, we're just big boned with a little more. So yes, I do have a booty. But it's not jiggly, it ain't a bubble butt. I exercise a lot, especially on my legs and calves, so therefore I have a hard butt basically. (I'm forreal.) And it's preventing me from twerking "properly". Shocking huh?
I can't whip and nae nae nor dab A1, but it's not I guess pathetic looking.

"You're the most whitest black person I know Zoe." Tf? That comment irritates so much, I literally can't.
People let me calmly break down to you: the word, biracial. The part "bi" means two. And racial, the root of word of it is race. So therefore it's consisting of two races. I am of the Caucasian and African-American races. I am both. Not one or the other. I don't think I act "white" like a Valley Girl nor act "ghetto" like a ratchet.I'm me. I act like a biracial person!1!1! Sure, the way I speak may contain some urban slang. I say words like "Aye", "Yo", "Man," "Fam," or "Y'all" but also, I grew up in the East Coast. Both urban and country parts of the region. It's just a part of my roots and the influence of music I listen to.

I just saw that stereotype that apparently biracial people, (girls especially in this context), are "snobs" and "boyfriend stealers"??? Tf? In my opinion, everybody can be a snob and boyfriend stealer but...okay then.

I'm not skinny nor I guess fat, but I view myself not so nicely as overweight. But I have to often remind myself (but technically my family and friends do): muscle weighs more than fat. I'm very built and toned, my thighs, arms, and calves are rock hard from all of the sports I play. I do have a biggest chest and booty as well, it's all in the genes. So yeah no, goddess body for me.

I feel like hair is such a huge unique factor of being biracial, yet it's such a struggle! It takes forever to straighten it and then it's so pretty when it's nice and all done. But it's a pain when you get it wet and morphs into Mufasa's mane.
Nowadays my hair is straightened because 1) it's too much to take care when it's natural 2) I'm in a lot of activities, so having my hair like this is much easier to comb out and everything, and 3) I like straightened hair. The reason my hair is so straight now is because I get a natural keratin relaxer on it.
I'm really trying to grow out my hair. I want to be really long but now I'm getting second thoughts. I feel like I should start wearing my hair natural again, like in cornrows/box braids or just curly. But my mom hates braids. :(

(I'm going to skip a few stereotype claims because you obviously understand them quite well. There really isn't no further explanations for some of them, it's already set in stone.)

It's "frustrating" our parents don't match??? What, white and black don't mix very well together? Psh, I kinda always thought they go very nice together. It's kind of funny that we have all these other problems in the world; including the future of our next president, ISIS, police brutality, bullying, terrorism, accepting equality, and so much more and yet...yet! Y'all mad because some parents are mismatched.
Get this though, you let your socks go mismatched and you don't complain. Why not let parents be like your socks?
And for all those people out there that are racist against biracial families, I'm pretty sure your children have watched Blue's Clues right? Well, the characters Salt and Pepper are white and black. And their daughter, Paprika, is a mix of them, she's like a dark copper color. Hmm...
See any symbolism?

That's what I thought too. 😉