The week was a blur and I hate it. I keep walking into either her room or the kitchen wanting her, then the realisation kicks in and I break down crying. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Today is the funeral and I have annother 2 weeks to stay in the house. I'm dreading it.
I stood in the mirror looking at the reflection. I was wearing a white pencil dress with a black cardigan and black dolly shoes. I had my hair straight and half up. Is it really happening? Can't someone just pinch me and wake me up from this nightmare? I look like crap. I feel like crap. My life is crap. I want my parents back. A tear made its way down my face leaving a streak of mascara.
"So much for water proof " I sighed dabbing my eye with a tissue.
"You look beautiful. I hope today goes so easy for you and special for your mom" k said wrapping his arm around me.
"Thankyou" I said turning around hugging him.
"Thankyou do being here for me, I mean it. You've been like an older brother to me. Thankyou for letting me stay with you and your family too. Thanks for everything. I love you" I whispered in his chest.
"I'm always here Abbie. I-i love you too.. " he stuttered. I wanted to find out why he stuttered but right now wasn't the time.
"Come on, we better be going. Everyone is waiting downstairs. "
I sighed and made sure everything was switched off. I turned around to see hi. Stand there with his hand out, I gladly took it and we walked hand in hand downstairs. I seriously wasn't ready for this. Everyone was either sitting down with a pale blank expression, looking out the window, hugging or crying terribly. They called us all outside to get into the cars but I wanted to stay and k stayed with me. The door shut and I placed my hand on the side of the brown, wooden coffin.
"Mom? " I whispered.
"I know you can hear me and I know you can't speak or show Me youre listening but I wanted you to know I love you. I've loved you since I was born. I will always love and miss you and not a single day will go by without me saying it. Mom you and dad were not just parents to me, you were my best friends, someone who I could trust, respect, care for and love. I don't know what I could without you because you were always there for me, you were my rock. I just hope that I make you both smile up there in heaven and that I will make you proud everyday. I love you. Forever and always. "
I said with tears now streaming down my face. She doesn't look the same anymore. I don't recognise her. Her pale face and her light hair, she looked younger.
At least she's up in heaven now, safe and happy.
"That was beautiful Abbie. " K said still holding my hand. I gave him a small sad smile.
"I'm so sorry but were going to have to hurry you... "the man said.
"It's okay now, I'm finished. " I said with a tear slipping down my face.
He nodded and put the top on the coffin ready to take it out into the car.
I got into the car behind and so did k. I miss her so much already.
We just ended and now we're walking up to the plot, time to say our last goodbyes.
I read out a little poem.
I said. I then got handed a white dove and I let it go at the end. I watched it as it flew in circles in the sky above us before going of in the distance. I picked up my white Lilly and placed it on top of the coffin. K held my hand as I watched her body get lowered into the ground. "Goodnight mom. I love you" I whispered. My eyes wouldn't stop watering and the tears wouldn't stop flowing.
The flowers got placed on top of the mud which was now over the coffin. My mom was officially buried. I placed my white and purple heart on top by her head. Before walking off with k to the cars. I took one more look before getting into the car. "Forever and always " I whispered before getting in. Forever and always.
