Everything seemed to go slow. It feels like it takes years just for the sun to go down again.
I tossed and turned every night since... I miss her. I miss everything about you mom, I miss your cooking, your laughter, your sense of humor, the way you could magically make everything better, most of all I miss hearing your voice say "I love you Abbie."
The day you died left a hole in my heart and a void in my life.
I know that you are here with me though, that makes me feel less alone. I can feel you at the oddest times, I've met up with you in my dreams, your smiling face telling me how much you missed me and how when it's time we'll be together.I always smile now though when people say "Do you believe in life after death?" I always say "Absolutely without a doubt".
I know that you're watching over me, and that you're still being a mom from the other side, I also know that a mother's love doesn't die when they do, it continues to grow and is forever infinite, that brings me comfort and a smile.I miss you every second of every minute of every day. I miss you so much I try not to think of you, but I love you more than anything else in this entire universe, and I can't wait until it's my turn to come Home so we can be together again. Until then, keep watch over me, guide me in the right directions, and always keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth, cause after all I am your daughter.
I've been given a month to clear out the house, sort things out with what I want to keep and what I have to sell. My mother didn't write down where she wanted me to live or who with when she would of passed so I either go into care or someone agrees for me to live with them that I know.
K said he would come over today and sort some of the things out with what I want to keep and so on.
I heard a knock on the door, I forced myself off the couch and made my way to the front door. I opened it to see K who then pulled me into that nice, heart warming hug.
"I hope your okay"he whispered.
I welcomed him in and I then made him a drink. We started to then sort through jewellery and Ainslie. I've ran out of tears, I couldn't cry anymore.
We finished sorting them out and we sat downstairs on the sofa.
"Where shall I go? "I whispered.
He looked at me.
"What do I do next? " I looked up at him.
He sighed.
"I don't know... I don't want to loose you either. Maybe you can come and live with me?" It came out as a question.
"I couldn't do that, I'll be in your way. "
"Would you though? I could ask... "
"Would you do that for Me? "
He nodded.
We scooted next to me and held me tightly.
Maybe I could live with him but the question will still be there, what will I do next?
Do I move on or still break? Where will I sleep? Will I have to pay towards rent? Will I have to get a job? Will I still have to go to school?
There's too much going on at once but at the same time, there's nothing that's being done.
It came dark and he didn't want to leave me.
"Stay the night? " I asked.
"Do you mind? " he asked
I nodded no. He smiled before texting him mom telling her.
He put away his phone and I showed him up to my room.
I got out a pillow.
"I can sleep on the floor... " he said.
"Dont be silly, you will get a bad back. You can sleep in here with me, it's not like anything is going to happen " I have him a small smile. He smiled back.
I got out a towel. "Here, if you want you can take a shower"
"Thankyou" was the last thing he said before going off to the bathroom.
I turned down the bed and made it all tidy and neat. I looked through my wardrobe and put on my pajamas. I could see some unisex grey loose joggers in my wardrobe, I picked them up and shook them. I carried them and put them on the floor outside the bathroom. I knocked on the door, "there's some joggers out here on th floor. Sorry but I didn't have a Baggy top! "I shouted.
"Okay! Thankyou! "
I walked back into my room and I heard the shower stop. I climbed into bed and looked towards the window.
10 mins later, my bedroom door opened and closed and the light got turned off. Moments later, there was a dip behind me in the bed, he got in. I turned around to face him but I couldnt see him that well since we were in pitch black.
"Thankyou for staying with me " I whispered, "I really needed a friend. "
"Abbie, I will always be with you, through thick and thin. If we ever had an argument, I will always be sorry because I'd be really really upset and scared if I lost you. Your my bestfriend and more. I should be the one saying Thankyou "
"Thankyou" I smiled.
He opened his arms and I giggled moving closer to him. He wrapped his warm, bare arms around me and I placed my hands on his chest and rested my head on my hands. His cheek rested in my hair and I could feel his warm breath ticking me.
"Goodnight " I whispered.
"Goodnight beautiful" he kissed my forehead.
I woke up with a warm pair of arms wrapped securely around me. I breathed in lightly and lookdd up to see him. I've decided to wake him up nicely so I cearfuly got out of his grip and snook down stairs. I cooked up some wonderful pancakes, 4 for him and 3 for me. I put some syrup on mine topped with strawberries and sugar. I put his on annother tray with the tub of syrup, cut up strawberries, nutella and sugar.
I carried them both upstairs and put them down on the side of the bed I slept.
I grabbed his plate and crouched over him. I placed a hand by his head to hold myself up.
"K... " I whispered and swiped the plate across his face without touching him.
I could see him sniffing and his eye lids fluttered open.
He looked up and smiled at me.
"Morning sleepy" I smiled at him before putting his plate back on his tray.
"Morning beautiful. "
I gave him the tray of food.
"Mmm. These smell delicious. "
"They are" I said with already a mouth full. He laughed at me before digging into his breakfast.
"Ugh. That was amazing. I'm full"he laughed. I smiled at him, taking the plate off him and putting it on the so are chair next to me.
"We haven't got to do anything if you don't wanna. " I said.
He looked at me confused.
I looked away from him and out the window realising he was Still shirtless.
"We could just stay in bed all day with hot chocolate, chocolate covered strawberries, snacks and watch movies... but you probably want to go home. "I said looking down.
He put his fingers under my chin and made me look at him.
"That sounds great" he said looking into my eyes smiling.
"Good! " I giggled. " I could do with a day with someone who I care for and who cares for me! " I said bending over the bed to look underneath.
"What are you doing! " he giggled coming over putting his hand on my bare back since my top came up a little.
"Looking for films! Help me!" I said pulling him down.
"Hmm! That one! "
"That one! "
"That one and... that one! " we said as we picked out movies.
"Okay, you go and put a film on, I'll get the snacks and do the chocolate strawberries for later! "I said walking out the Room.
I got crisps, sweets, chocolate, strawberries, biscuits, marshmellows, chips, dry cereal (yum! ) and 2 packet of double stuff Oreos.
I did two glasses of coke and carried them all up (God knows how).
I walked In, through the food on the bed and put the drinks down on the bedside table by him. I shut my blackout curtains again and turned the lights off so it was pitch black.
I jumped back into bed next to him and watched Pretty Woman, the film he picked.
