Zollie 2

Chapter 1: Loveless

Ollie's POV

I see Zosia walk over to cubicle 3. It's her second day on the ward. She is capable and she's a good doctor. Elliot's trusting me to 'look out for her' and to 'be a good mentor'. I'm not a very 'people' person. It went downhill when Tara passed. I haven't met anyone else since Tara. She was the one. Was. I need to move on, I've been told and I know myself too. But I can't, I really can't. She was my rock, my life, my reason to live. Maybe I'm not ever supposed to be happy. I've lost a wife and a sister, surely that must mean something. I'm too afraid to love another woman. Everyone I have had just, gone.
I get interrupted in my daily daydreams by Elliot.
He coughs for my attention. 'Sorry Ollie, I don't want to interrupt but I think you should be in cubicle 3 with Zosia?' He reminds me.
Ah yes. Zosia. She's the new F2 from Neuro. Hansen moved her over. She's known mainly for being Mr Guy Self's daughter. She has bipolar I think and she's lost her mum.
I quickly snap back into Doctor world and walk into cubicle 3. As I walk in Zosia is about to leave.
'Ah Zosia.' I command.
She turns and looks at me like I'm her master and she's the servant. As much as I like it, I can't make her do that. I stifle a laugh.
Wow Ollie! A laugh? Haven't heard that in a while...
'.. Yes?' She inter fines with my thoughts.
I ask her if she's got any thing from the scan. She nods her head like a school girl and confirms that it is a hole in the heart.
I think that's what I have. A hole in my heart, taking away any woman I love or ever loved. It's not fair.
Zosia's still standing there.
'Sorry - day dreaming again! You caught me!' I smile. Wow a smile! Ollie your on fire today!
Zosia is standing there looking confused.
'So shall I book her in?' She questions.
'Hmm?' I say uninterested.
'To theatre?..' She says.
'Ah yes yes. I will lead and I'd like you to assist!' I say without thinking. How is this girl making my mind go all loved up and letting her do what she wants. I've never been like that. Have I developed feelings? Am I meant to? I never promised to Tara that I'd never... what am I on about. She probably thinks I'm a right weirdo. Day dreaming like a five year old.
'Snap out of it Ollie!' I mumble to myself.
Zosia's still there. I sigh and walk off. No.
I can't love again.
My heart isn't up to it.
And neither am I.....
I think?
Yes.
I know,
Possibly..
Feelings?
Are there?
Yes?
No?
Ollie get yourself together..

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