Insanity, Alice.

The Fall

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The falling was yet to stop inside this once beautiful and now stained hole. But it felt slowly like the cold ground was nearing a gut sinking feeling, like no other that soon the cold hard ground would rise to meet her. Like the sea rising to meet her to become her dancing partner, in her mind she knew it was tile cold and hard and relentless tile. That stung when you hit it, and hurt even more at speed. In her head she knew that the tile was old now and chipped and sharp. That she would land in a room she knew had been once polished. But now it would be in ruins as time weighed down on it, like the gravity slowly pushing her in the cold inevitable tile. She knew where she would land. She knew it would hurt, she just didn't know how she knew.

"Quinn." I leap off my bed and towards my door falling away from my writing like shedding a second skin that left residue on my mind. I jumped from my small single bed and to the door swinging it open. Halie stood on the other side dressed for the day in a blue pair of jeans, a black top and all red accessories, cardigan, beanie and shoes.
"What're you doing?" she asked her hands planted on her sweeping hips.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Halie." I said running a hand through my unruly locks of blonde frizz.
"We have a philosophy lecture in ten minutes" I stared at the alarm clock on my beside table, then the massive wall planner on the wall above my desk.
"Balls." I cursed imagining my state of bedraggled sleeplessness. I froze I shook my head slowly at first then over and over again faster and faster till my head hurt,
"This has happened before it's happening again."
"Quinn what are you talking about?" I spoke clearly this time, in case my words got stuck in translation.
"I can't go to a lecture today; I have something I need to do." Questions lay unanswered on Halie's lips as the door slammed in her face. I stared into my mirror on the back of my door 10 sleepless nights radiating from beneath my empty blue eyes. I turned away from the hollow looking reflection and to my drawers forcefully yanking them open, I pulled on some black skinny jeans and a plaid button down tucking my unruly hair beneath a grey beanie and pulling on a pair of worn brown leather boots grabbing my bag from the back of the door I ran from the dorm hall past staring faces and down the street I froze as I saw it half a metre high at the foot of a concrete wall a purple and yellow mushroom painted on the wall I began to run faster the strange coming thicker and bigger and more clustered tears were streaming down my face my breath coming short the towering artwork was writhing in front of me beckoning and moving a cluster of coloured mushrooms taller than on a wall a caterpillar lay motionless on top it leaned moving smoke radiating from a pipe the painted caterpillar rolled slumping off the highest mushroom and falling to the ground he slinked into an alleyway I clutched a hand over my mouth and tried not to scream hot tears streamed my face. My breath coming fast and short.
"Are you alright" I jumped turning to the middle aged man concerned brown eyes, I'm not crazy I'm normal I promise I'm just— I'm just quite very
"tired" his face contorted his smile lines creasing, a happy man
"You're tired" yes I am
"What's your name sweet heart?" Quinn I replied tears still streaming down my face head spinning, what was going on am I going crazy?
"Should I call someone?" I shook my head, it's okay I live just down
"Here" I say pointing down the alleyway the painted caterpillar escaped down lying to kind the kind man
"Excuse me" why can't anyone understand what I'm saying
"I-I gotta—I-I gotta—go" I pulled away from the man's hand that rested on shoulder turning the alleyway. A scream bubbled in my throat tears pouring don my face. As I turned a corner in the alley way the art work becoming thicker as I moved deeper in patches of painted flower turned into to gardens trees of amazing colours growing up the walls and painted grass spreading across the ground of the alley way my mouth open as my feet mindlessly carried me further into my colourful insanity. I knew in the back of my mind, I was searching for it. My eyes scouring the ground for the painted manhole cover stepping deeper into the alleyway things only got more insane the paintings around me begun to shift and move they begun to whisper.
"That way" a pouting trumpet like flower had said, I'm insane I've gone crazy. My mind was screaming my eyes were streaming tears pouring down my face I couldn't stop crying.
"Insanity is best judged by those who lack it" I stared up at the blue and green 2D cat curled up in the branches of a vivid purple tree
"Your not real" I say shaking my head rapidly over and over
"And we're all mad here" the cat grinned
"I'm just tired, this isn't happening"
"Open the cover why don't you" it's hauntingly smooth voice drawled as it slunk down the tree
"See just how real we are" it seemed to nod to the painted manhole cover I clutched my hand over my mouth biting violently down on my lip as I tried not to scream
"Cats don't talk" I say shaking my head as I use the sleeve of my shirt to rapidly wipe my eyes
"Oh but I do" it paced around the foot of the tree fading in and out of vision as it's stripes flickered through the colours of the rainbow
"Open the cover Alice" it drawled grinning at me, cats don't smile
"My name is Quinn"
"Oh of course it is" the sarcasm dripping from the cats words I shivered at its hauntingly familiar voice
"This isn't real"
"Open the cover" it repeated
"No." I shot back it's yellow eyes glinted at me it sharp teeth grinning at me glinting in the light that dripped into the alley way
"Open it Alice." Its voice was now sharp and to say I was scared was an understatement
"My name is Quinn" I replied through gritted teeth praying my voice didn't shake
"Open it!" The voice seemed to scream but the cat didn't shout it only leap towards me I flinched away from it flew from the wall disappearing into wind that smashed me backwards and I was falling.
"See how real we are" the cat's voice echoed down the hole even it had disappeared.
I felt like I was falling, like a bird tumbling from the sky I felt like I was falling I always felt this way like the world was falling away from my finger tips. But this time I really was falling, tumbling right down the hole. I would like to say rabbit hole but this was not a forest this was New York and this was a man hole so why was I still falling?

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