Hello Again. {Reader x Andy Biersack}

CHAPTER THREE

One deep breath in, one scary and nerve-racking breath out. I stood behind the curtain, not daring to open it for a while, before I finally gathered the courage to lift my hand and move it.

Fuck it. I won't let Jake ruin this, I thought as I threw back the curtain, scared to look at him. When I do look up, I see him looking at me through the rearview mirror with a faded smile from the joke someone just told and curious eyes. He was waiting to see how I would react; if I would freak out or break down, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't let him get to me; I am strong.

I put on a smile, "Don't let me ruin your fun!" Smiles slowly start to spread and Andy motions for me to take a seat next to him.

"So? What were you guys just laughing about earlier?" A couple seconds later CC fills me in on the joke and I tried my hardest to ignore the nagging urge to glance at Jake. Laughter fills the bus and the urge to peak gets stronger. I was laughing at the jokes and stories but all I could think about was if Jake was looking at me and if it hurt him to see me happy.

I don't offer any good stories or jokes to the conversation that had taken a life of it's own but every so often, I could here Jake laugh or tell a joke and all I wanted to do was look. Looking would be a sign of me giving in and I didn't want to; I didn't want to lose to him even if it was a simple thing like looking at him. I didn't want to give him the pleasure of eye contact with me. I was also scared that if he saw me, he'd see how much he hurt me and I didn't even want to give him that. 

~ ~ ~

Silence. Yet, I couldn't sleep. I look to my right: Andy is asleep and I can feel his breath on my forehead. I look to my left: Jinxx is also fast asleep holding onto the body pillow he had brought with him. Everyone is sleeping and dreaming of wonderful, beautiful things but all I could think about was the quiet sound of the wheels running over the road and the driver quietly playing music. 

I stare at the dark nothingness for a while longer until I decide to grab a snack. I know we had some chips in the cabinets so after the battle against my fear, I finally decide to do it. I remove the sleeping Andy's arm, slowly get up, then tip toe to the curtain.

Back here again, behind the the curtain. I take another deep breath in, and one out then I'm ready. I carefully pull back the curtain, look up and I see him look at me through the mirror. It really wasn't a rear view mirror, but a mirror to see what was going on in the back of the bus instead, since there was no way to see the the back with the curtain and beds and such.

His face still curious to see how I would react to seeing him. My brows are furrowed and no smile approaches my lips; there is only a single serious expression reminding him of what he's done. I spend no longer than a minute looking, then I break eye contact to search the cabinets for snacks. Through the darkness, I spot a bag of chips that look like they have some flames on them and grab them. I turn around to other cabinets and I find a jar of Nutella, perfect. I take my new belongings to the couches to eat.

It was odd to think that just a while ago the whole band was here laughing and telling jokes looking so lively. Now it was just me, my snacks, and Jake in the deafening silence. I dip a chip into the Nutella before indulging in it's odd yet beautiful taste.

"You always ate the weirdest snacks." He laughs as I'm taken aback. There were no words I could say to him. It felt insulting to have been trying so hard to avoid contact and then he just comes along and says something so nonchalantly as if we were just two friends reminiscing on the old days. Well, it was nothing like that, nothing like that all. I ignore him and dip another chip into the Nutella.

"You've been ignoring me this whole time Y/N. You can't keep this up forever."

"Says who?" I retaliate.

"Look I- I just don't want it to be like this between us. Yes, I made some mistakes and it's probably too late to fix them-"

"It is too late"

"Ok, it is too late to fix them but that doesn't mean it has to be like this forever."

He looks to me for a response, but I give none and continue to stuff my face in junk food like I heard nothing. I hear a sigh, which was expected, but the laughter that followed surprised me.

"You always were a stubborn brat", he laughs.

"Well you know what Jake?! My snacks are not weird ok", I quietly yell. I suddenly find myself standing. Jake is still laughing and I'm officially pissed off.

" 'Not weird'? Ok sure whatever you say, but I swear you are the only one who likes to dip their Hot Cheetos in Nutella." He laughs even harder at me and I feel my face going red.

"You know what?! I'm not hungry anymore." I put the chips and Nutella back in the cabinet and quietly storm to the other side of the curtain. I take a look at the mirror and he's still smiling. This time my face is a sad one that thought about how me and Jake ever got to this point. Everything was so good until it all came crashing down and I was left with nothing but the stuff in my suitcase and the therapist.