We Die Soon

Three

A/N: Bella: you're not really supposed to know why he's in the hospital yet ;) sorry if it confused you, haha

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I probably should have dated you, she said. I wanted to say: then why the fuck didn't you? But no, of course, I just smiled like an idiot and acted like her words didn't affect me as much as they did. That was what I had been doing since I first met her.

I liked her immediately. The only girl on the show with four boys. I knew they were all thinking the same thing as me, and I figured it would end up being a competition between us.

Well Jason was thinking the same thing, which is why he sat us all down and gave us the speech that ruined my life.

"None of you," he began, looking from me, to Mateo, to Dylan, to Alex, then back to me. "Are allowed to fall in love with Olivia. You cannot date Olivia. Not under any circumstances."

I remember looking at the guys, trying to see if any of them seemed pissed. They didn't. They were just staring at Jason, waiting for him to continue. I liked that, because it meant that maybe they weren't interested in her, and maybe there wouldn't have to be a fight. Maybe she'd be mine from the beginning.

"The only thing that could ruin this show is if you all decide you wanna fight over her," Jason continued. "She is off limits."

Off limits, I repeated the intriguing words in my head. I wanted her more.

"You got that?" He asked us.

Teo, Alex and Dylan all nodded. I looked at the ceiling.

"Leo?" Jason said my name, waving his hand in front of my face. "You got it?"

I looked back at him. "Oh, you mean me too?" I joked, except I was really hoping he'd just say, 'no, I'm kidding, go for it Leo'.

He laughed. "Especially you."

That 'especially' was just mean.

The other guys left the room to go get something to eat, but I stayed with Jason for a second. He noticed and he knew why.

"Leo, you can't date your co-star. That never works out," he said before I could even speak.

"But—"

"No," he cut me off. His voice wasn't harsh, though. It was understanding. "It'll ruin everything; believe me. Besides, you're only twelve! You don't need to worry about having a girlfriend right now! Just be her friend, and be a good friend. Then one day, maybe one day years and years from now, maybe you'll be more. Or better yet, maybe you'll realize you value your friendship with her too much to threaten it with romance. That'd be the best case scenario."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I said.

Then I left and joined the guys.

I did listen to Jason, though. I was a good friend to Olivia. I always listened to what she said and was always there for her when she was upset, and I hoped that Jason was right when he said that one day we might be more than friends. I didn't care how long it took to get there; I just wanted to be there one day.

When Olivia landed her first role in a movie, I made sure she knew how happy I was for her. She missed some days filming for Season 2, and I missed her, but I pretended I didn't. When she did show up, though, she talked about Luke Benward.

Luke Benward.

God, I hated Luke Benward. Not because he was a jerk. Not because he didn't treat Olivia right. None of those things, because those things were not true.

No, he was the nicest person on the planet and he treated Olivia like a princess. I had no reason not to like him.

So why didn't I like him?

Because Olivia liked him so much.

She talked about him all the time. She talked about him like she didn't know I liked her, which, come on—she knew. She acted like she forgot sometimes, but there was no way she could have forgotten my confession.

"Leo, I've never felt like this about anyone before," Olivia beamed one day on set, looking down at her phone screen with a smile on her face.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but instead I said, "I'm happy for you."

She looked up at me. "I think... I think I love him."

I felt something in me shift then, like lump crawling up my throat, like I was going to vomit. My stomach hurt and a tingle ran down my arms.

She loved him. It was over.

"Wow... really?" I managed to get out. I felt like I had to respond.

"Yeah... Like, I don't know. I know I'm only fifteen, but it feels real... should I tell him?"

The fact that she asked me that, asked me for boyfriend advice, was one of the cruelest things she'd ever done. I'm sure she didn't mean it the way I took it, and I was probably being ridiculous, but at that point, nothing had ever hurt me more.

"That you love him? Um... I think you should wait. Wait for him to say it, you know?" I answered. I hoped he'd never say it.

A look of disappointment flashed across her face, and I felt a little bad. "Yeah, you're probably right," she said with a shrug.

She went back to her phone, started texting, and I knew she was texting Luke because she started smiling and her eyes looked dreamy.

Olivia letting go of my hand brought me back to reality—the white walls of the hospital room and the plain sheets of the bed we were on.

"Well, whatever," she said softly, her eyes staring ahead, not meeting mine. "The past is the past, I guess. Can't change it now."

"Yeah," I agreed, nodding. "And there's no point in drowning ourselves in it."

It's funny that I said that then, because that's exactly what we had been doing, and all we would be doing the rest of the night.