We Die Soon

Five

A/N: i think olivia and luke dated for way longer than i make it seem here but just go with this cause it works.

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"I'm sorry," she said after a long pause. She felt like she had to say that. Like it was called for. It kind of was.

"It's fine," I said dismissively.

"I mean, I don't mean that stuff the way it sounds like I do," she clarified. "It's not like I never thought about dating you. It's just that if we did... and we broke up... like, what if we were never friends again?" She scooted closer to me so that her thigh touched mine.

I'd thought about that too.

"We'll always be friends." I shook my head. "And I don't care if that's all we are. I'm really really okay with it. I just don't want you to date guys like Ray and end up getting hurt," I said. I paused before absentmindedly adding, "You could date another guy like Luke. Luke was a good guy."

(Those words caused me physical pain, but they were only true.)

She nodded. "Yeah, he was. And he's a good friend to me now too. But it's still not the same. It's like it'll always be just a little weird because of the break up. That's what scares me about dating you."

"Break ups are tough," I said a simple thing, using it like a filler.

"They are," Olivia agreed.

I remembered that day on set when I found her  crying, knees pulled to her chest, sitting on the floor in my dressing room. My dressing room. I still don't know why she was in mine when she could have been in hers.

She was sitting behind a rack of clothes, so I didn't even notice her.

I unzipped my pants.

She spoke up quickly then. "Leo!"

I jumped at the sound of a voice, zipping my jeans back up.

"Oh my Gosh!" I exclaimed, turning around and looking for the person the voice belonged to. I saw brown eyes peeking out from in between hanging clothes. "Olive?"

I heard a sniffle in response. I went and stood in front of her, looking down. She had her chin resting on her knees with her arms wrapped around them. She looked up at me. I noticed her smeared mascara and the tears on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, growing worried. I bent down to get to her eye level.

"Luke broke up with me," she told me.

"Oh, Gosh, Olive. I'm so sorry."

I didn't know what to do; I just put my hand on her shoulder because I thought that was comforting. She shook her head and leaned into me, throwing her arms around my neck and crying on my shoulder.

"He said he was too old for me," she explained between sobs. "Isn't that stupid?"

A little. It was a little stupid. He'd just turned eighteen, but she'd have been sixteen soon. The difference wasn't too bad, especially since I knew he wasn't the kind of guy to ever pressure her into anything she didn't want to do. They had an obvious innocence to their relationship, and the only reason I could think of that would cause him to end it with her is if he had grown tired of that innocence and he was too nice to ever say anything about it.

I just said, "Yeah."

"What do I do now?" she asked desperately.

"I don't really know. You just keep going."

"I can't!"

She started crying harder, making me feel bad, like I had said the wrong thing.

I stroked her hair and told her, "You're fine. You're fine. You're fine." I thought those might have the been the only good words I could offer.

I turned to her now, older, matured and calmer, and I asked, "Does it still hurt?"

"Yeah," she answered immediately. "I still think about it. God, I felt like I was dying. The first real break up is always like that, I guess."

"What about the second?" I asked, talking about Ray.

She looked back down at her phone, the missed calls and texts. She shrugged. "I don't know about that yet. I cried at first, but now it's like I feel nothing."

"Isn't that normal for you?" I asked, and I did not mean to ask.

It was a thought I had, but probably not something I should have said out loud.

She closed her eyes and leaned back, like she'd been hit with something. She rolled her eyes once before speaking.

"Excuse me?"

I wanted to say 'nervermind', but I knew that wouldn't suffice.

"I just... meant that, like... I don't know. You just seem pretty indifferent to pretty much everything... pretty much all the time," I explained, trying not to sound harsh.

"I'm not indifferent to anything, okay?" she defended. "I'm sorry I just think it's stupid and pointless to cry my eyes out in front of other people. It's not like they can do anything about it. I'm not some robot; I'm just not a baby."

I looked down at my hands awkwardly. "All right. Sorry."

I felt her move so that her shoulder was against mine again. She leaned in closer.

"Do you think I'm a robot?" she asked. She sounded worried.

"I did," I confessed. "I don't anymore."

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A/N: this chapter's really short but i feel like the previous ones were too soo whatever

please vote and review if you'd like for me to keep posting <3