Shower Thoughts

the only boy i've ever loved.

Hi, how are you? It's been a long time.

I wish more than anything to talk to you like that. For it to be that easy. I miss you, all the time. I think about you a lot. Is that really weird? Sometimes I wonder if you think about me, too.

Do you miss everything we used to have? It seemed so much more simple back then. We had it pretty good. I miss the cheesy dates and the amazing food and the awkward way we always used to say goodbye. I don't know if I expected it to last, maybe I did. Is that so wrong of me? To wish to have something good forever?

I could probably go on for hours, all the things I would go back and change if I had the chance. I know it was my fault and I'm sorry I blamed so much on you. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I'm not scared to admit it, it's true. I would give anything to have you back. To have you look at me the way you used to.

But you will never read any of this. You will never know. You will go on and live your normal life and I will live mine and maybe I will even continue to pretend that all these thoughts don't exist when I'm around you. For your sake.

I was never good for you anyway.