Here today, gone tomorrow ( a Casper Lee and Joe Sugg fanfiction)

4. I was trusted. Again.

He looked up frantically into my eyes, I saw panic there, in the depths of his eyes they were desperate, frightened. He was trying to swim and actually wasn't making a bad job of it but there was no way even an amazing swimmer could stay up with those clothes on.
I grabbed him around the waist, he was solid yet light, muscle seemed to envelop me as he flopped into me and stopped moving so much. I wondered for a moment if he had passed out but his eyes were still open and his leg jerked in time to mine to aid us up to the surface. I tugged at his hoodie trying to get it off... Who knew I'd be undressing Joe Sugg after knowng him for one day. Finally it came off but he was still too heavy, I had benched two hundred and sixty before in training which meant I could easily have gotten him up to the surface but I needed all my energy for making sure he lived after he got to the surface. I undid his belt and and quickly pulled his jeans down my pushing his body up. His boxers were black but I tried not to look. Little tingles went up my arms and into my stomach, it was like ripples going through my body, making me feel warm.
Perfect time to get turned on Jakai, just perfect.
It was at this time I was thankful for my tights and light cotton hoodie. It didn't take much to get to the top because Joe was light.
I saw him struggling for air just before we broke out. I shouldn't have been surprised, he hadn't spent eight months practicing breath-holding.
As soon as his head broke the surface he gasped a huge breath, like a whole assembly exclaiming in shock when someone announces a plot twist in a play. His face was white and his teeth were chattering, his body began to feel heavier in my arms because at that second Joe lost consciousness. His chest fell onto my shoulder and his head hung down my back. Caspar was watching from the water a few feet away, hair wet, clothes wet panting, white faced. He swam over to us.. He had taken his hoodie off so that he could swim and he wore a black t shirt, he had obviously been looking for us because he sighed in relief when he saw me and then turned even whiter when Joe's head lolled limply to the side.
" What happened? " He asked quickly, his hair was thrown over his eyes. He talked to me.
" Get to the side and help me get him up" I said through chattering teeth, Joe's body was losing heat, I could feel him getting colder against me, or maybe it was just the water was getting to me more now. Who knows.
I kicked at the freezing water, my legs were going numb.
Was I going to be able to keep kicking?
Of course I was, I flicked brown hair away from my face and pursed my lips, I managed somehow to grunt with the effort.
I could see the side getting nearer but it seemed so far away and Joe's weight was pushing me down. When I said I could lift I meant while actually having solid ground under my feet, not water and more water. I decided to float him on his back and keep him afloat while I pushed his body along the water. It was a lot easier and we finally reached the side, I grabbed the gritty concrete with my left hand, Strong hands reached down and grabbed Joe from under his arms. I pushed his ass and legs up with my free hand, his body slumped against the concrete and Caspar quickly turned him over, his hands shaking. Caspar looked like he was dying, he was white and his eyes were ghosts in his skull.
I remembered the day well, though I wished more then anything that I didn't. The memories had stayed away for a while. Why did they have to come back now?
I crawled over to Joe and sat back on my heels, I lent down and placed my face above his... He wasn't breathing, placing my hands on his chest, I began to pump up and down.. It had to work, it had to, I wouldn't let it not. But with every pump I lost hope.
No Jakai snap out of it, this is Joe......This is different.
By this time Zoe, Alfie and Lynsey were standing around. Zoe had tears streaming down her face and sobs shook her body, I wanted someone to hug her, tell her he was going to be ok and know it was true.
But what if it wasn't?
I kept pumping... I had to try something else, mouth to mouth. I bent down... His face was slightly warm from above but no breath escaped his mouth.
A huge gagging noise came from his throat and I watched as water came up his throat. I had a second to process before water showered my face. I spat it out of my mouth and stuttered.
Joe lay panting and slightly blue on the concrete but alive, eyes open and breathing.
I was broken again.... I had glued myself back together now I was broken. Joe Sugg had broken me without even knowing it, without meaning to, without wanting to.
I checked his pulse and breathing, his pulse was way too slow.
" Joe , you need to go to hospital" I instructed loudly, loud enough for him to hear if he had water in his ears.
He shook his head weakly, he looked drained.
" Listen to her" Alfie said.
" Alfie make the decision, you know better then me how he will cope with this, but he really should go" I sighed folding my hands together on my lap.
" Ok, I trust you" He said. Those words hit me, hit me hard. Trust. I had been trusted before, trusted implicitly and no good had come of that.
" Alfie call the ambulance, say we have a stable man who just had a near drowning incident. " I demanded of Alfie. I watched him punch the numbers in faster then normal, watched the lady answer, watched him repeat my words, watched him tell the lady where we were and that he would stay on the phone while they dispatched an ambulance. I knew the process all too well.

It was all just noise.