Tuomas just stood there, without moving. "She left." Thought crossed his mind "She left and took my heart again, like years ago" Couple of tears run down on his face again, he wiped them, raised his head and breathed heavily. Someone put a hand on his shoulder he turned around he thought it was Emppu, Floor or Marco, but erred. Tuomas didn't recognise her.
"You must leave," The cold voice said. Tuomas just nodded and went out from the dressing room. Guys were waiting for him at the backstage with Floor. Floor ran to him.
"So.... how did it go?" She screamed but when finally saw his face she understood and looked at guys sadly. Tuomas as always in situations like this needed to be alone. He smiled sadly and left them. He was walking in the empty streets it was already 3 AM and cold but he didn't care about it right now.
"I loved you too" Tarja's words were scratching his brain and heart, "You treated me like trash" She was right, Tuomas stopped at her hotel, he was just standing and staring somewhere in space and suddenly he saw her again. She was standing at the window and staring somewhere; Tuomas quickly hid so that she couldn't see him. He was breathing heavily again to make himself somehow calm down, but it didn't help.
She was right, he treated her like trash, he was screaming at her, never cared about her health or so on, but it was easier for him and now he was cursing himself about this. How silly he was. "I thought that after this conversation everything would be okay but I was wrong again everything went down, I destroyed myself for the second time" How pitiable he was. He found one single bar, which was open at this time. He was drinking and drinking couldn't stop. Like it would help, but no it made everything even worse. His feelings were even stronger. Now they were killing him. Tuomas was just torturing himself. He remembered that talk with Tarja over and over, how quickly he destroyed everything again. After all these years he had one single chance to improve everything and he ruined it. With only a few words he killed his hopes which were helping him to survive and which were living in his heart for a long time now. Hopes which imprinted in his mind.
"I deserve to suffer again, because of that," Tuomas paid and went into the hotel.
"She loved me and I even didn't notice, good job Tuomas....but he always wrote his feelings in his song was it so hard for her to understand?" He slowly opened the door, didn't want to wake Emppu up but when he entered the room he was already awake.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tuomas didn't respond."Okay" Said Emppu and turned around in his bed.
"She loved me" Finally Tuomas said in a low voice but Emppu could hear him. His eyes wide open turned on the light and jumped out of bed. "Tarja told you that she..."
"Yes" answered Tuomas and set on the bed. "Can you believe and I ....." Emppu didn't tell him that he found out about that long ago. Tuomas was his best friend but promised Tarja not to tell anything to anyone
"I don't know what to say" He just said.
"And now again I ruined everything. I thought if I would talk to her she will forgive but I think I made it worth and it hurts more than ever"He put his head in his hands.
"I know..... you still have time."
"Time for what?"
"To improve everything" Said Emppu and smiled. Tuomas looked at him confused "Come on you know what I'm talking about."
"I just can't, no, I'll just disappear again she'll go back to her husband and maybe I'll be able to forget about her again. " Emppu burst into laughter.
"Damn you're so jerk" Emppu laughed so hard that tears started to stream "You'll forget her? Come on it's been 25 years or something. You've been in love with her your whole life, couldn't get over her, she got married, you fired her and you think, that now when she'll go back, you'll forget? Okay okay."
