Over Again by Kiana Orange

Chapter 10

Usually when you die and go to heaven, you picture a golden gate that is supposed to let you in. Or if you went to hell, you'd be greeted by Satan with his firing pitchfork. But no one honestly knows, do they?

Growing up, your parents tell you all these myths and stories about both Heaven and Hell, but you could never tell if it was real or not real, so you just went along with it.

They tell you the myths that God controlled Heaven and Satan controlled Hell and how they became the rulers of each realm. Or they told you the stories if you made a sin, heaven wouldn't accept you or if you did sin but was forgiven, hell would let you be. It wasn't the truth. Those myths and stories were meant to scare the shit out of you and make you want to become an obedient child.

I never really pictured what death was like growing up. I didn't really bother imagining death after Sam passed.

I only thought it was blank. A blank room with two doors standing on either side of you. One was a gateway to hell, of course. And the other was the gateway to heaven. But the two doors looked so much alike, you couldn't tell the difference.

If wanted to go to heaven, you accidentally ended up in hell. If you chose hell, obviously you went to the opposite one. The wrong one. I didn't choose.

I didn't want to go to heaven nor hell, I wanted to stay in this blank room. This was my heaven,.. but it was also my hell.

"Jas?" A voice asked. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Jas! Wake up! Please!" The voice began to cry. Harry?

Suddenly my throat started to burn before it began to close, as if I was being suffocated. With my throat closed air tight, rejecting the oxygen I needed, I left the blank room and lied in pure darkness.

What was happening to me? Was I not worthy for heaven or hell? Was I to just die and stay in this darkness?

I awoke from the pure darkness with my lungs screaming for air and my stomach ready to heave out whatever was in my system. I sat up and vomited onto the wet grass discovering the painkillers I had just taken.

Soon I returned to my laying position after I suddenly began to feel groggy, but still uneasy from earlier. I slowly, but in a more lazily manner, lifted my eyes open to be greeted by the night sky that stayed blanketed by stars.

I chose to blink a few times, only to see if it was a figment of my imagination or not, before noticing the dark clouds crawl across the midnight sky just like before.

It wasn't until I had been interrupted by a faint sound of cries, which made me fix my eyes onto a familiar pair of green shamrocks and a nearly damp set of curls. "Curly..?" my voice managed to say in the slightest of a whisper.

"You're alive!" cried Harry with tears falling from his face. "I thought you were dead.." He murmured.

"I thought I was too. But probably for a minute or so." I said. His lips gave a minor grin at my words as he placed his hand along my forehead, neglecting his tears and leaving his attention only on me for the time being.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jasmine." He whispered, more helpless tears running down his face and landing on my jacket. His slightly positive expression had remained when he said that as if feeling such guilt had hurt him, but he seemed too happy just seeing me alive than moments ago. "This was all my fault. I-I never wanted this to happen.."

This made me lastly sit up from the ground before I chose to engulf him into a longing hug. He had squished his face into my neck as he held tighter onto me and resumed crying again. I then whispered, "It's okay. Not all of this is your fault, I fucked up too. Really badly. I shouldn't have made up my own conclusions, and should've let you explain everything.."