The Player Diaries

Dear Diary

*****
(Stevie said)

Our Literature class opened its book drive. We had been collecting literature books to start a mobile public library. Since it was under Mr. Fitz's supervision, Aria volunteered to be the person-in-charge and the rest of the class had to either man the booth during their free time or join the cafeteria raid promotions.

I volunteered on Friday after school. It was also Ally's basketball practice so she asked if I could wait so we could hang out.

Ally, who was already on her practice getup, dropped by the booth and donated a pile of books. Of course, the whole team went with her.

"Here is the donation from the whole team," Ally said.

"Why did you wait until today to donate, Ally?" Aria asked, teasingly. Aria was there to ensure a smooth egress of the book drive.

"Well it is the only day that beautiful ladies are in this booth," Ally answered as she winked to my other female classmates. I could see them, as straight as they are, giggling because of Ally's attention.

"Can we take a picture of you all?" Peter, the designated photographer asked.

"Sure," the team unanimously answered.

All the girls in the booth joined in and compressed closer to Ally. I pretended I was busy on the phone so Peter did not bother calling me.

"Thank you for the donation, here's a small token," I butted in after the photo op. I gave the team the appreciation pins.

"Someone's in a hurry to get rid of me," Ally said that made Aria laugh. I avoided eye contact. "I will go now. Thanks for the pins! Goodbye, ladies."

Ally and company jogged away to the dismay of my classmates. They shot me glances of disappointment.

I was doing the inventory for their donation when Aria approached me.

"I felt the tension there," Aria said.

"I do not know what you are talking about," I lied.

"There has always been tension between the two of you. I still remember the day when Ally picked me up at my house. She was obviously making you jealous."

"That's not true."

"Come on! So are you dating now?"

"No, we're not."

"If you say so." Aria left me to put down some banner displays. "But I ship it!"

I continued with the inventory. They donated books mostly from past terms--Nineteen Eighty-Four, Things Fall Apart, Great Expectations, Crime and Punishment,  Don Quixote, To Kill a Mockingbird, some Shakespeare's, The Catcher in the Rye, and many others. There was one that was out of place--something that spurred my curiosity. It was Ally's old diary. I took it from the pile and carefully kept it in my school bag. I was so tempted to read it right there and then.

I jumped out of my seat when someone touched my shoulder--it was Spencer.

"How's the inventory going?" she asked. She arrived with Caleb, which was news to me. "Aria left to talk with Mr. Fitz on some, I am quite sure, important matters."

"I am finished jotting the titles down," I said giving them a big smile of approval. "I sent the file to you and Aria already."

I closed my laptop and shoved it in my backpack to show her I was on a hurry.

"Oh okay. Thank you, Stevie."

"I need to go. Bye, Spaleb!" I blurted out. They seemed to appreciate the ship name and laughed.

I waited for Ally at the auditorium as the cast for Lez Miserable rehearsed. Our secret meeting place had been behind the backseats of the balcony. Ally managed to get keys from Danny. Danny said it was his contribution to their social exchange. Ally would not tell me the whole story why Danny owed her.

I took out the diary from my bag and contemplated for a long time if I should open it.

'Her past relationships do not matter now right?' I was talking to myself. 'You only want to understand Ally better.'

'But what if it is some Pandora's box?' I argued against the urge to read. 'You are not even sure if you can handle the truth. It may ruin whatever's going on between you and Ally.'

I started with my Calculus homework to get my mind away from the temptation. I was even able to start with my college application essay.

*****
(Ally said)

I was running fast to the auditorium. I did not want to keep Stevie waiting for another second.

I arrived as the cast wrapped it up on stage. Stevie was just packing her stuff.

"I am sorry for making you wait," I said, handing her a rose origami I made earlier. She stared blankly at me. "I will give you a real one next time. Lots of real ones. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded and smiled. "Thank you. I appreciate it. So how was practice?"

"Great! Did you know that there's this freshman who shoots so well. We could be like the Splash Sisters! But Coach would still have to make her come from the bench."

I could not hide my enthusiasm while Stevie's anxious expression was all over. She managed to had a lively conversation with Mom over dinner.

"I will drive you home now," I said as we finished drying the last plate. "Let's hang out next time."

"I am so sorry, Ally," Stevie answered. "I will make it up to you next time. I need to sort some things out."

"It's okay. I understand."

We drove to her house with small talks including our answers to the Calculus homework. It was the most awkward ride ever.

"Stevie, before you go, can we take a selfie?" I asked when we pulled over her driveway. I devised a plan a last minute plan.

"Why are you suddenly asking me for a photo?"

"Hmmm, I just want to remember this awkward memory well." The comment made Stevie sincerely laughed.

"Okay."

I took out my phone and extended my arm. Stevie was forcing a smile when I splurged all the courage I saved up and kissed her on the cheek. Her priceless reaction was captured on my phone.

*****
(Stevie said)

"Be mad at me for kissing you," Ally said.

"Why are you telling me to be mad?" I asked.

"I want to take you away from what's bothering you since this afternoon."

I could not help but smile. "You already did... And I could not be mad at you. Thank you for today, Ally."

I gave Ally a legitimate kiss on the cheek. I got out of the car with my face all flushed up. I walked slowly to the door recalling what just happened.

When I entered my room, I slid Ally's Diary between two books in my shelf that I am sure any visitor would not read--One Hundred Years of Solitude and War and Peace.

I decided I would not read Ally's diary. I may not be her one great first love but at least I have her at the present--and that is what matters most.