One direction are our babysitters?!?

Babysitting auditions!

Uncle's POV

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I know that people don't usually hold babysitting auditions, but believe me...

...In this family, we need to.

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The next person sat down. I asked them the usual questions; 'Have you have previous experience as a nanny or babysitter?'

'Do you work well with children?' 'Can you work fire extinguishers?' 'Are you okay with frogs, cockroaches and spiders down your top?'

'Can you abseil?'

This candidate definitely looked better suited to the job as a babysitter for my nieces. Many of the others paled at the question 'Are you okay with frogs, cockroaches and spiders down your top?' Whereas this one only had one question.

When she asked why abseiling was relevant to the job, I supplied her with the information that we have ropes and belay devises in each room so that she can escape from the kids when she will inevitably need to.

She then asked why she would need to escape such lovely children. At this I decided to introduce my godchildren.

I think the people waiting in the lounge were slightly surprised-To say the least- when they saw the poor girl run out screaming. She had been yet another unfortunate victim at the receiving end of the girls hose.

You may be thinking, 'it's just a hose, how bad can it be?' Well... The answer to that question is; very bad.

You see the girls attached a pipe to our downstairs toilet, so all our 'waste' goes to their 'water' butt, at the side of our house, which is then connected to their hose.

The boys left in the lounge only looked mildly surprised as the witnessed the poo-coated lady incident. That was a good sign, you have to be prepared for anything if your going to work with my girls.

However I could not say the same for the other candidates waiting in there. Two out of three of them had fainted, and the other had disappeared to the toilets, where the distant sound of someone throwing-up could be heard.

I grimaced, knowing full well that the sick in those toilets would be syphoned straight back to the waste hose. I just hope I'm not at the receiving end.

I invited one of the five boys into my study for their audition, but he shook his curly head. "We're all together" he explained, gesturing to the four other boys.

"Oh," I frown. "Alright then, come on in."

The boys cram themselves into my study, and fight over who should have the chair facing my desk. In the end they compromise.

I stare at the five boys, all crouching in awkward positions on their 1/5 of a chair.

I lick my lips slowly, mulling over options in my head. Accommodation will be harder will five boys, but we did have a reasonably big house. And looking after the girls would be a lot easier with more people.

I poke my head round the side if the door out to have a look at the other candidates who should all be waiting in the lounge still.

I'm faced with an empty room.

Damn. They've all run off.

I turn back to the boys.

"Your hired." I say.

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"Girls!" I shout, "Come on down and meet your new babysitters!"

The sounds of Freya and Christy bounding down the stairs echoes through the hall, and they arrive to poke their heads round the door.

Christy whispered something to Freya and she nodded, smiling evilly. Her evil smile vanished almost instantly, but that short glimpse seemed enough to scare one of the floppy haired guys, who was now trembling in his chair.

She then put on an innocent, exited face and smiled widely. "Are you guys One Direction?!?" She asks, almost hyperventilating.

"Uh, yeah." Replies curly, looking confused.

"Can I get your autographs please? I'm an autograph collector."

I know for a fact that this isn't true, but I'm intrigued to see how this turns out.

It will be a good test to see if these boys, 'One Direction' are up to the challenge my girls present.

"Sure, I think I've got a pen on me." Says a blond one with an Irish accent. He pats down his jean pockets. "Uh it's in here somewhere..."

After around a minute he finds it. It had fallen out a hole in his pocket and slowly traveled down one of his jean legs, until it had popped out the seam at the bottom, to be found by 'Liam', the one with a sort of quiff thing on his head.

They all crowd around Freya, to sign the notebook that she is presenting them with innocently. In the meanwhile, Christy slowly creeps out of the scene to the seat where she scatters drawing pins and pops 10 slugs on the back rest. She then creeps back next to Freya and smiles innocently, but not before turning to be with her index finger pressed against her lips in the universal symbol for 'Shh!'

I observe all this from my position wondering how this will turn out...