Promises

Chapter 2: "Keeping Secrets"

Jay sat at his desk in the bullpen waiting for his kids to walk up the stairs. He looked over at Erin and smiled then gave her a smirk.

"What's with you handsome?"
Erin let out a small chuckle as she got up from her desk and walked over to Jay.

"I'm just thinking about Kyle and my beautiful wife standing in front of me." Jay moved his head towards Erin's and kissed her lips.

"Maybe later Husband." Erin teased. Shane and Lainey ran up the stairs.

"Mom,Dad! He's doing it again." yelled Lainey

"What is he doing?" chuckled Jay. Jay looked up from his phone and looked straight into the eyes of his twin kids.

"He told my friend Finn that I had HIV." Shane started laughing so Lainey punched him hard in the arm.

"Shane Henry William Halstead! Why would you do that?"

"Because the kid is a douche bag and a player. She'll be heartbroken. I'm only looking out for her."

"Now the whole school will know that I have HIV. You are an idiot Shane." Ever since Kyle had died Shane had been acting out not doing his homework and fighting with Lainey. He was caught buying drugs but the officer let him go knowing his Mom and Dad were detectives. He wasn't the same.

"I don't know what is getting into you Shane."

Shane looked up and threw his hands up. "You don't know? Oh well maybe it's because my older brother was fucking killed by a terrorist. You and Mom go out on your job every damn day I never know when you are gonna come home. Lainey doesn't seem to understand every guy she wants to date wants to get her pregnant. I haven't been the same. I know it. Kyle was my role model my idol my mentor. You can't just expect me to stop and smell the damn roses and expect me to be fine. He was my older brother. He was my brother." Shane's voice went lower as he started crying. Jay and Erin gave each other the look and walked towards their son and hugged them.
"We are gonna get through this together. I promise." Jay kept holding them tighter.

Shane let go and walked to the bathroom. He locked the door and took out a bottle of pills. He popped one in his mouth then took another one. He did it one more time. Then threw the bottle in his pocket then walked out the door. Lainey saw him come out the bathroom.
"Shane,doing this won't help you. Stop doing this. It won't bring Kyle back."

"I know it won't but I can't deal with the pain." Lainey smacked him across the head.

"You need to realize he is never coming back Shane. You can't do this. If Mom and Dad find out. That's the end of you." Shane rolled his eyes and walked back into the bullpen. Jay still had the letter taunting him on his desk. He brought it everywhere it had been a week since he had gotten the letter and he didn't know what to say about. He put it in his pocket and locked eyes with Erin who was on the computer. He loved her and this would break up her heart and he didn't want too. Erin and the twins are the light of his world. The day Kyle was born was a special day. And when the twins were born it was even better. He hated keeping things from Erin and this just made his stress high. He took the letter off his desk and started rereading it.

Later that night at home everyone was at the table eating dinner.
"Shane,what's wrong?"

"I'm fine." He snapped

"No you aren't. I can tell when my son isn't right." Jay added

Shane moved his fork to get food in his mouth and dropped it,he almost flipped the plate.
"You know what I'm not fine and I wish people would stop asking me. I am tired of it. I miss him Dad. You all go about your lives and meanwhile I'm the only one missing him. He was a hero and I'm gonna follow into his footsteps. I'm going into the Army." At the talk of that Jay had a nightmare and remembered the little boy and letter. He shook his head.

"Shane,I'm sorry but you are not going." Jay snapped

"No. I am. Once I turn 18 you have no control of what I do. I'm going into the Army Dad." Shane pushed his plate away and got up from the table. He went into his room and grabbed the dog tags Kyle gave him.
He sat on the bed and kissed them then laid down on his bed.

"Dad,I'm gonna go to sleep early."
Erin looked up from her plate. "Jay,what's wrong? I'm your wife."

"Well I know. I nothing."
Jay couldn't tell her not now. He wanted to so badly but he couldn't. He knew telling her would break him and her.
Jay kept it a secret. He knew he needed to tell her as he left in three weeks. Jay picked up the dishes and started cleaning them. Erin walked into her room and undressed and laid down. She waited for Jay to go lay down with her but he never did. Jay put his headphones in and started running. He ran until it was 10 then he went inside to his wife sleeping soundly. The only one up was Shane.

"Shane,You can talk to me son." Shane didn't budge. He sat there for a minute then walked to his room.

"Shane,you know why I don't want you going? I don't want you dead like Kyle is. I don't want both my sons dead. Shane,It's war and I don't want you going to it." Shane walked towards his room and locked the door. Jay went to his and put his sweats on then went to sleep.