The Reason Love Is Hell

4

Nothing is working.... Just pain pain pain. I try to stay happy but it finds its way back and haunts me. I'm so alone in this world...no one understands. Because of this...I'm losing my best friend and I havnt seen them in 3 days...I did something stupid so I pretended I was sick the next day so I wouldn't go to school. I did it because a wanted to die...I wanted death...I didn't want to live, I don't deserve to. I saw a text that they sent and a knife drove right through my heart and tore it out. A lot of people say get over it....it's not that simple. But I can't do anything but sit here and wait to die. I cry almost every night trying not to think about it but its always on my mind. I'm alone and no one gets it.

We were texting before I lost them and wanted to say something terrible. They said if I ever needed someone they were their...then I laughed and wanted to text.

" I don't know what depression feels like remember. "

I wanted to say that because in the previous year we argued saying I knew nothing about it but oh how I did....

I'm just gonna end this here and say this which has been on my mind:

It's hurts to see someone you love call you ugly, then call you beautiful, and say it to someone else only to call you ugly once more.

I've been drivin forwards the knife plenty of times....but have been to weak to even touch it.

.....Jae..(or what's left of me)