The Book of Weird Stories

Popular Girl Talks

"Oh my Gosh, this guy was like soooo ugly, like hind his face with a bag, so I don't have to look at it.

He looks like a giant zit that I just want to pop and see what comes out...

Eww, I don't even know what I just said, but whatever, because I'm a pretty, popular girl, and the whole world revolves around me.

Everyone has to do what I say, or I'm not going to be nice to them. Instead, I will punch them in the face until they pass out and they fall on the ground. Then, I will kick them so hard the soccer coach recruits me.

I am like, totally perfect, and if you tell me otherwise, I will slit your throat with my super long fingernails and then dye my hair with your blood.

You know, I am like totally unsmart, but whatevers.

You will get run over by my Mustang if you call the cops. They don't even need to know like, anything I've done, especially that one time when I did this thing that might be illegal...

Um, I won't say it, anyways, back to what I was saying... Don't call the cops, Okay?

Yeah, that would be like totally unco- OKAY, FINE, I KILLED MY PIANO TEACHER, AND DIDN'T TELL ANYONE," The popular girl starts sobbing, "SO DON'T MESS WITH ME!!!"

The End