EHSAAS -feelings left unsaid

Chapter 18

Raahil fall down on his knees and hold Mira's palms in his, she couldnt stop herself more and finally looked at him. And then LOVE happened, yet once again. They both were crying, tears streaming down their eyes. Tara was standing away from both of them and she turned around, closed her eyes and keep her hands on her face, 'God never let lovers suffer so much' she whispered.Her cell ringed at that moment and she walked towards the corner of the room, on side of the window to talk, giivng the couple lil privacy. Just few minutes passed when Mira came towards Tara, "I met him, lets go now" she said. Tara turned towards her and disconnected the call  and said,"Di stop behaving like dis yaar, i knw u luv him, u r free now damn, just stay wid him n make ur life happier." tara held her from shoulders.

"Tara, stop it ok!! i cant do this. My life is already ruined and i dnt wanna ruin Raahil's life!! so just stp this ok, i dont need anyone, i can spend my life alone!! LEts go  from here." she said in a harsh voice.

Tara turned towards Rahil, he was standing blankly, without reacting to anything. "Raahil, dont u love her? dont u want her?" she shouted, "Taraaaaa,!! stop it just go back." Mira shouted at her and nearly  pushed her forcefully. Tara kept looking at Rahil, he wasnt doing anything, he was not stopping her, nor was he crying, he was speechless.Tara couldnt understnd wat had happened suddenly that had chnged things between Mira and Rahil. Tara and Mira went back, they both kept quite on the way back.

Reaching at hostel, Tara baffled at Mira, "di u cant do this yaar, Devi mat bno please!!! accept him back, this is a golden chance."

Mira kept quiet for a while then shouted back, "Devi? m not trying to be some Godess for god sake Tara. do u even know wat happened that made me react like this? When we hugged each other, it felt i was hugging my world, i was the happiest girl on earth u knw? but wat Raahil next said, bring me back to ugly reality."

"What did he said?" Tara looked up at her. She couldnt blv smthng hppnd btween the two of them,  the perfct lovers she hav always seen them as.

"Nothing, u shud stay out of it, but i m happy n not regretting my decision. Well i dont wanna stay here more Tara and thanks i knw u care for me, but smtyms u shud stay out of all this, its not meant for u." Mira's voice was telling the story of her heart, she was hurt. Tara noticed it, she came towards her and hugged her. These sisters have a divine connection or may be its between evry sibling. Mira melted at Tara's care. She cried for long, and after she stopped crying, Tara gave her water to drink. After Mira composed, she started telling Tara,

"I was on top of the world for a while and i didnt cared for the world this time. I whispered to Rahil, 'make me urs n never let me go now' He held me tightly, i cant explain u what i was feeling. Although v have loved each other but v never hugged  or even got this closer, v never got a chance too may be. Then suddenly, i dont knw why i just said, 'Raahil, u need to accept sum1 else too along wid me, my n Akshat's baby'. Hearing this, Raahil lossened his grip and pushed me away from him. 'baby? Tara didnt told me u have a baby' he said. I felt bad, i didnt expected such reaction from him so i continued to knw wats going on in his mind. 'Maybe she forgot, but tell me Rahil, dont u luv me? i luv my baby, i want u to accept both of us.' I said. ' I am acepting u its more than enough, dont ever expct i will accpt sum1 else's baby, ur parents will look after the baby, i will bring u along to meet them but no i cant. i cant, and wait wat? baby? means he have touched u n.. shit!! Mira, i never expcted this frm u. Like i was madly waiting for u to be mine, i thot u too wud be doing the same. I have the right to live a normal life, i cant ruin it!! my family hav dreams, n i hav too, they hav alrdy chose a girl for me. Lets do onething i will marry her, have a baby and then divorce her and marry u. Wud u accpt it?'he asked to me calmly and moved back. I cudnt blv this was the same guy, i knw its difficult for him to accpt me, but seriously Tara i am not so weak now dat i will beg sum1 to keep me.I cudnt believe at what he said. Do u still think i shud hav stayed wid him? i shud hav accpt his symapthies ? i shud have all my life had a guilt of ruining his life? Tara, i have been through a bad marriage already and i left it bcoz i gave my self respct more importance than anything else. I left Akshat bcz i wanted to live and independent yet a life i was proud of, not wid sum1 whu thinks he is ruining his life for my sake. And u knw wat? Akshat behaved in that way bcz somehow he came to knw about me and RAahil. Since last month, duirng our counselling session wid a relationship counseller, he admitted this fact. I came to knw that his wild beahviour was  his anger for me, he was hurtng me intentionally." Tara was stunned hearing all that, it was to much for her too digest but still she interrupted Mira, "Di, well watvr Akshat jiju was doing, is not accptble, he should hav talkd to u, sorted it out , this is no way of dealing it."

"I agree Tara, but he tried once. He asked me about my past, gave me a chance to tell him but i didnt, out of fear. And do u realise in all that, he never left me? he could hav done that and free himself from a wife who he thinks was cheating on him, but he didnt. He had loved me , i knw this, he have been the best of husbnd in initial mnths of marriage and that he how he is as a person buthe changed since he got to knw about me n rahil. Blv me, any man wud. I startted hated him, wdout kniwng the rsn, and u all too bcz u saw me suffering but none of us realised abt his suffering. Well i am in no mood to get back to either Akshat and not at all to Raahil. I am happy ryt now, i have many wishes and dreams and i will achieve dam, wdout any male by my side." she said and wiped away her tears and layed down on the bed. Tara kept sitting dere, aghast, she didnt knew wat all was happening. She never in her wilddest thots saw all ths coming, in few minutes, evrything was changed, she kept sitting , but a fonne strtled her, she was almost too shocked seeing the number flashing 'KARAN CALLING'. She got up and answered, "hello"

"Hello, what  is wrong wid u Tara, u knw hw ill i m, i m waiitng u wud call to knw my hwere-abouts but u didnt." It was KAran, and it was actually very unusual of him to react like this.

"Sorry sir, my sister have came and i myself have taken leave from office." she replied, blankly.

"Oh, ok, sorry to disturb u then. Enjoy with her." saying that he disconnected.

Tara didnt knew wat she was feeling. it was beyond anger, beyong frustration, she was tired, she couldnt take so much all at once, her trust has shaken up badly from the word 'love' she actually realised, she doesnt understnd anything yet, she still needs to dscover alot about life.