EHSAAS -feelings left unsaid

Chapter 21

Seeing him so near to herself, she was losing control over herself. She wanted to shout n tell not just him but the whole world dat she loves him like crazy. But she didnt wanted too spoil anything wid her desperacy. Till late night they talked then he asked her to sleep in the bedroom and he chose to stay in the living room on couch. She was dreaming herslef as his wife alrdy, imgng herslf gtg ready in frnt of dressing tbl n thn at the window, waiitng for Karan to cmback home 'm silly' she scolded herself and managed to sleep somehow.

Nxt moring, as she woke up, she found him alrdy up and was making tea in the kitchen She gulped down the tea quickly and rush out bidding him bye, to her hostel.

Later at hostel she told thm she was wid frnds at a prty. That whole day in office, they both use to pass smile to ech other whnvr they made eye cntcs. She was extrmly happy. Thn she rmbrd abt Mira's court date, she called her to enquire.

"Ya thngs r fine Tara, Akshat keeps on saying for the cmpromise, apologising n all but i m nt in mood to, well i m in mrkt wd mumma,cll u in evng ok?" Mira said."Yeha evn m in office, tc bye" saying that she disconncted. ONly thn she recvd a mssg frm Karan, ' coffee? 6 pm?'

she tried to look at him but cudnt see his cabin,thn she txtd back 'CCD :)' They met there, and this time Tara told him abt her life, abt Mira's suffrng s etc. She was amazed with his concerns for Mira's future, she liked it instantly.Day by day they were getting close to each othr. And slowly, evryone in their office had noticed it too. Whnvr Swati or others wud ask Tara baout it, she would blush and avoid answering them. But she use to share about it to Mira and Geetu. Mira was happy for her, she has never seen her so responsible bfore. Once it was Saturday and Karan had asked her to come to his flat to spend whole day with him. She was going there after that day, she was happy. She took some romatics flicks from Geetu in a pendrive and wore a beautiful black knee-length dress . "My my.. where r u going wid dese killer looks?" Geetu asked looking at her . Tara smiled, "On a date" she spoke out. "Well,,, just a suggestion, dont cross limits." Geetu said with a serious expression. "Wat? u mad o wat??? v r just planning to watch a movie n have lunch tgthr, nothing else! chal byee. wud b bck by evening." saying that she left.

She was really surprised seeing Karan waiitng for her in car, down her hostel building, she gave him a huge smile and hopped in his car. "Where will u ike to go for a movie? although v have tym, its just 10 ryt now." he asked, driving on to the main road. "i thot we wud watch on your lappy, at ur place." She said wid il dissapointment. He ooked at her, "Ok, no probs, lets get smthng to eat and then we cn go to home fine?" Saying that he  took the way to his house and on the way got few stuff to munch on. Reaching home, it was lil dffrnt envirnmnt altghtr as the servant was back, he was an old aged man, Raghu chacha,he looked at Tara bit amused but then went in the kitchen.He then asked her what mvie she wd like to watch and she gv hm dt pendrve , "Any from dese and are we gonna sit here?" she asked. "Yeah? wats wrng here" he asked her and sat back on the couch putting the laptop on table. She came and sat next to him, but Raghu chahcha's presenc was making her bit uneasy, he was coming over and agin in the living room sometimes for dusting, sometimes for taking something frm the cupboard and wud give a weird look to Tara.

After a while she whispered, "Cant we shift in the other room for a while? Raghu uncle want to clean this area may be, jst an hour left for the movie to end naa, lets shift." He looked around, Raghu chacha was standing with moppers in his hand, "Hmm Chacha aap yaha cleaning krlo thn call us, " Saying that they both went to other room. She felt comfrtble now and got engrossed in the movie. There came some romntc scenes and Tara just cudnt cntrl herself more. Afterall she was sitting nxt to the guy she love so much, she turned towards him and gave a kiss on his cheeks, before he cud respond, she put her lips over his. He cudnt cntrol , he had emotions too, he responded her back, but suddenly as he opened is eyes, he looked at her in amusement, he didnt excptd any such thng to hppn, he hav seen a frnd in her. Though its been 2 yrs but a prt of his heart had a hope that someday Riya will b back, he didnt wanted to cheat his live, she pushed her back. Tara felt dejected, she looked at him wid eyes full of questions. "Sorry, i cant do this.. Tara.. sorry.." Saying that he stood up. She felt disgusted, very stupid of herself to rush into him like dis.  'wat kinda girl m i? so desprte?

 she thot and tears flow downher eyes, she filled with guilt , Karan turned toward her and seeing her in tears, he realised, how badly she was hurt. He didnt wanted this to happen, he went to her and hugged her, she tried to get away but he kept hugging her. After a while when she calmed down, he said. "Look at me,  u r a very nice girl, dont spend urlife wid a prsn like me. I luv Riya, Tara u knw it. Will u b able to bear that? i stil cnt keep her out of my mind n heart, actually i dont want to, and see dis, saying that he removed his t-shirt, a big 'K R' were tatooed on his bare chest, over his heart. "Evry time u will come close to me, seeing this, u will feel hurt, all ur life, And think abt ur prtns, they r already hurt about Mira di, wil they like their younger daughter, to gt mrried to a married man? Tell me Tara?" he asked.

"I love you, knowing evrythng. I hd alrdy accpted the fct that she will always hold an imprtnt plc in ur life. I will nvr want to replace Riya, i wanted to fill ur world wd happiness, and my di knws about u, she had no objection waht so ever, I hv seen her hurt by not marying the one she loved n i didnt wanted to repeat that mistake . And about this Tattoo? it will nt hurt me i hv alrdy accptd ur luv 4 her,but u have hurted me ,in all the days we spnt tghtr, u nvr saw love 4 u in my eyres? i m ashamed of wat i hav done, I am sorry, i will never come in frnt of u again, I cant face u, i m so ashamed. "

Saying that. wd tears in her eyes, she left. "Beti khana" Raghu chacha said frm bhnd, she didnt looked back KAran kept standing there, unsure of wat wat happening. He felt he had done ryt by  being true to his love, Riya but also he didnt wanted to hurt Tara, she was his only frnd. In a matter of few seconds, evrything changed.

Tara went to her hostel, Geetu was bewildred seeing her dis way, she kept on asking her but she didnt said anything. She kept crying and then slept. She caught fvr that night , many tyms her cell kept ringing, she didnt replied to any calls. "Mira di is calling on my cell wat hppnd u not picking?" Geetu came to her and ask, "Tell her i am seeping" saying that she turned towards the other side. Tears were not stopping, she was feeling worse.!

Luv hurts...badly.