Enter if you dare!!

Let's talk about my 'LOVELY' parents.

So It turns out that I wasn't born when my parents got married; like I have been told. It still had the same theme as a shotgun wedding. My parents really didn't love each other. My dad may have loved my mom but I highly doubt it, he has a terrible temper and the only good thing he is able to do is run. 

He would yell at me over the littlest thing, like I could ask a stupid and he would yell at me telling me how stupid I was and that I won't have any friends if I keep that all. Who the hell says that to their daughter which in his case was having a terrible time at a new school with no friends.  He would ask me to be honest and want me to open up to him but when I do he locks me open in a hospital. 

He could never understand what goes on in my head. He thought if I move to Ohio that everything would be ok, in a matter of seconds but he was wrong. My feelings about killing myself got stronger, I hurt myself more and more, these is all because of him. He so damn native like he can't believe that his daughter would hater herself, or his daughter would hurt herself because of him, or that his daughter would want to kill herself because he not able to be a parent. 

Now lets talk about my mother. She gets on my nerves so bad, I cant wait until I move out because I cant stand her but I have nowhere else to go. She can act like a real B – I – T – C – H. Now she calls me ungrateful but all she does is fill me with empty promises and she expects me to do everything she says. Why do I have to do what she said when I cant even trust her. This fight had started because she won't pay my phone bill but the real reason is because I can't trust her. 

So far every man that has been in my life had betrayed me and now my mother has joined that list. Another thing is sometimes she would go and get food and not get any for me and I have to find food that's in our kitchen. But my mother doesn't shop for food. She goes grocery shopping like once every four months and she doesn't buy that much food. 

There never food in the house and when she goes out she will buy food for herself and tell me to go find something in the kitchen. I'm thinking since she didn't use protection all those years ago and got knocked up at 15. Now she trying to relive her teenage years and she just forgets she has a teenage daughter. 

But that was before a car hit her, and at the time I was scare because I thought I would have to go live with my dad. When I told her how guilty I felt because I said that, she just blew it off like it was nothing. She blows off all my problems like it was nothing. 

She doesn't care about my problems; neither of my parents does. I know for a fact that when the public eye is looking at my parents they put up some sort of wall like everything was ok but once the public leaves they show their real side. Like how my mother said she would listen more to my problems and understand me. But she said that when people were around but now that people aren't around she don't do any of that crap. 

Everybody lies, tells you empty promises; therapists, my ex boyfriend, my father, my mother, everybody LIES. It just how people are, and people would never change. You know most of my problems revolves around her which I absolutely dislike that. Only because since she the reason I cry at night and she the reason why I want to find love so badly. Now I will always know; no matter how far I try to leave her. She will always be in the back of my mind.

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